Chimpanzees. They're hateful little bastards that both know how to and deeply desire causing you the most misery imaginable. They'll tear iff faces and chew your hands and your balls off.
And they're fucking jacked and smart enough to make plots against you. They'll try to trick new zookeepers by hiding behind doors so they can attack them.
Fuck chimpanzees, I hate those motherfuckers so much
Gorillas are chill. They've got that wayyy stronger than anything around them but also eats plants Chad vibe. There had only been a single death by wild gorilla on record ever and it was in 1916 and dude was seemingly threatening some babies in a VERY specific wrong place and time situation. He was torn limb from limb and it was probably horrible, but gorillas overall are very gentle dudes.
They're not that bad, they'll just steal your lunch and any food you have. They'll break shit to get to food, which can cause problems. Imagine a troop of baboons breaking into your house or car.
Source: I've had my food stolen by a baboon at a nature reserve as a child.
Chimpanzees. They're hateful little bastards that both know how to and deeply desire causing you the most misery imaginable. They'll tear iff faces and chew your hands and your balls off.
And they're fucking jacked and smart enough to make plots against you. They'll try to trick new zookeepers by hiding behind doors so they can attack them.
Fuck chimpanzees, I hate those motherfuckers so much
Yikes, I didn't know they did that shit! My local zoo has a no direct contact policy with their gorillas and chimps. Gotta hand it to Jane Goodall!
Gorillas are more straight to business. They usually dont wanna fuck with you, but if they do, they'll just flatten you and be done with it.
Zoo gorillas though, I dunno. They're probably bored and pissed off
Gorillas are chill. They've got that wayyy stronger than anything around them but also eats plants Chad vibe. There had only been a single death by wild gorilla on record ever and it was in 1916 and dude was seemingly threatening some babies in a VERY specific wrong place and time situation. He was torn limb from limb and it was probably horrible, but gorillas overall are very gentle dudes.
So chimps are just psychopaths. What about orangutans?
I'd be less scared of one than a chimp but still very scared.
Baboons?
They're not that bad, they'll just steal your lunch and any food you have. They'll break shit to get to food, which can cause problems. Imagine a troop of baboons breaking into your house or car.
Source: I've had my food stolen by a baboon at a nature reserve as a child.
They actually sound pretty cool... think they'd accept me into the troop?
Nope. I'd only be okay around gorillas and bonobos.
The bonobos might try to fuck you tho... they fuck everything.