The “college tankie”: Politically a liberal, nominally opposes Russia, but supports Palestine which is a terrorist state supported by another terrorist state, Iran, which is in turn supports/is supported by the premier terrorist state, Russia, which makes the college “liberal” a tankie.

The “Ukrainian fascist tankie” (redundant, I know!): Hates Russia, probably fighting them in the war. However, he wears Nazi symbols and gets his pictures taken and published all over the internet. He may ideologically hate Russia and tankies, but his carelessness benefits tankies which makes him a tankie as well.

The “black American tankie”: Gets offended when Democrats don’t give him handouts. Constantly complains about “rent,” “groceries,” and other economic buzzwords or about “police brutality” instead of Putin’s brutality. Demands Biden focus on his problems instead of saving democracy. He won’t vote for Biden, which is an automatic vote for Trump, which means they support Putin’s genocide.

The “realist tankie”: Is a neoliberal that consults western states, but insists that “reality” isn’t concerned about ideals like “democracy” and “freedom,” and that Russia is just doing what the US would do and has done. Ignores the fact that what the US does is good and what Russia may copy is bad. Similar analysis to “Russia was provoked tankies”, but made by someone from our side which validates the “provoked tankies’” beliefs.

The “European Industrial Tankie”: Is upset that his country’s companies are competing in the free market and going to the US instead of producing domestically. Complains about high prices, wants to have closer trading relations with China, wants to go back to consuming Russian oil, and is probably consuming Russian oil through middlemen or official means.