I know it’s a at best a useless mindset, as nothing will make me somehow magically get a new chance at those years. But it’s still a strong feeling and it’s still there.
I’m doing my best to push through it, I’m out there talking to people, but there’s usually a point where we are sharing personal anecdotes and I just feel my stomach tightening, as I barely have any of those. I have no experiences which means I have no identity which means I am uninteresting.
I have this idea that people are like shooting stars: fleeting and short-lived in the grand scheme of things, but they can be meaningful for the people lucky enough to catch them. I want to a bright-shining shooting star that gives people hope and lifts their spirits by being a positive role model. I feel like I have so much potential for that if I could work myself out.
Well the good news is (in my opinion) you don't have to work yourself out before you try to help other people, cuz in my experience the number one thing people want is understanding and empathy not someone with answers, yeah? Anywho that's how it's worked out for me.
Oh, absolutely. People are never "complete", and nobody's perfect. The "clean your own room first" notion is often a mere excuse to ignore your criticisms.
What I meant with it is that I feel like I have so much potential within me, but things like a fragile self-esteem and various insecurities prevent it from coming to full fruition. With more life experience, mental balance and some support from others, I could reach full self-actualisation and focus more on helping/inspiring others and taking initiative, rather than just getting by. I see things slowly changing, I have a lot of hope for myself as long as there's change.