Every screening and official diagnostic I've taken has me scoring max ADHD points and every time someone describes a symptom I'm left confused that other people don't have them.

Will my personality change? I feel like being a disorganized disheveled loud interrupter is most of my personality at this point idk.

I've never done any stimulants beyond drinking a million coffees per day so i have some anxiety about this

  • WhatDoYouMeanPodcast [comrade/them]
    ·
    5 months ago

    I don't have 1:1 experience, but I think I have an apt metaphor for processing trauma and having clear focus. It's like if your everyday life were like a musical album, you'd be better able to sit and listen to the lyrics and chord progression from start to finish and recognizing themes from song to song. With horrible executive dysfunction and left to your own devices to cope, it's like skipping around the song and looking for moments in the song and then listening to the album out of order, sometimes skipping songs entirely. Instead of waiting for the song to pick up, you skip to the energetic part with caffeine and then that has its drawbacks. You'd miss major themes and through lines that life is trying to show you because you're too unfocused to see the bigger picture.

    In that sense, the song that's playing doesn't change. In the presence of professional help and meaningful desire to see improvement, I wouldn't expect you to change dramatically unless you mean to (e.g. I don't like having to be loud to be funny and now I feel free to use my indoor voice). Your medication endeavors to help you have a better time enjoying the music of your everyday life.