Adelaide Casely-Hayford, born on the 2nd of June in 1868, was a Sierra Leone Creole Pan-African feminist, educator, and author. Hayford established a vocational school for young girls in Sierra Leone that emphasized racial and cultural pride.
Hayford was born into an elite Sierra Leone family in Freetown, British Sierra Leone. She spent much of her youth in England and studying throughout the West, also studying music in Germany at the age of 17.
While in England, Adelaide married West African author and Pan-Africanist J. E. Casely Hayford (also known as Ekra-Agiman). Their marriage may have influenced her transformation into a cultural nationalist.
In May 1914, Hayford returned to Sierra Leone, dedicating the rest of her life to educating African girls. In October 1923, she established the Girls' Vocational School, one of the first educational institutions in Sierra Leone to provide young girls with an African-centered education, according to historian Keisha N. Blain.
Hayford frequently traveled throughout the world, giving a speaking tour in the United States on misconceptions about Africa. Author Brittany Rogers notes that these travels also exposed her to the exploitation of black female labor throughout the world.
Although her educational concept for young girls had a Victorian-influenced, middle class domesticity in mind, Rogers writes that these travels led Hayford to begin writing and speaking on matters of labor as well. Hayford died in her hometown of Freetown, Sierra Leone in 1960.
"Instantly my eyes were opened to the fact that the education meted out to [African people] had...taught us to despise ourselves. Our immediate need was an education which would instill into us a love of country, a pride of race, an enthusiasm for the black man's capabilities, and a genuine admiration for Africa's wonderful art work."
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CW internalized transphobia, self harm, just a general cry for help
I’m to a point where I just don’t believe other trans people when they say it’s never too late to transition. I have literally never seen a AMAB person with as much hair and weight as me transition and present in a way that would make me satisfied. If that’s you reading this and you’re happy, I’m sorry if this is disheartening to read and I would genuinely love more than anything else in my entire life to hear from you. Otherwise I think I’m just doomed to hate my body until I die. My brain is poisoned and my body is a coffin. I don’t have it in me to harm myself, but I started waiting for death years ago. I’m not even in my late 20’s and I’m already just running out the clock.
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Being an overweight/hairy trans woman is difficult because beauty standards for women are high and society constantly tells women that they need to be pretty and that they can only be pretty if they’re skinny and not hairy. I guess it’s important to keep this in mind when setting your transition goals. Your goal doesn’t need to include conforming to those standards (but it can if you feel that it’s important).
Transitioning goes in steps and it’s impossible to know where you’ll end if you’re just starting. However most steps will make you feel a little bit better about yourself. You will only really know how you’ll end up if you start taking those steps (like getting hrt). And you might find out that even if you don’t conform to all beauty standards you can still feel happy with your body after transitioning. And if you don’t then there are ways to get rid of body hair or to lose weight. You’re young and you’re definitely not doomed to hate how you look forever. If you feel that you have nothing to lose why not just continue taking the necessary steps to transition?
This helped reframe a bit for me. I didn’t realize I was trying to decide on an endpoint and shoot for it rather than take small steps. Maybe that’s what I need. I’ve also never had someone refer to me as a woman before, so thank you.
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I mean, sure, we're all trapped in these decaying prisons of flesh, but wouldn't you like to move the furniture of your flesh prison around to be more comfortable? Or just do it to spite god?
Plus even if you're never happy with the appearance of your meat battlemech, from what i understand getting your hormones worked out will help your mental health function. I know a woman who is like 6'3 with a receeding hairline, thought she couldn't do it, and now she's like three years in and seems like she's much more steady and grounded. Not where she wants to be, but in a much better place than she was before she started hrt. Whether you're ever happy with how your body looks, hormones will also greatly influence how your mind works, and how you interface and interact with your body.
Regardless, yeah, it sucks. We're trapped in a society that will not shut up about how we should look and dress and move, and then we've got our own goals and desires for our bodies that can be difficult or infeasible, and we're all fighting the clock. Turtles don't have to deal with this. They don't sit around thinking "i am not the turtle i desire to be". But we had to go evolve thumbs and pass the mirror test and now everything is a damn mess.
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This in particular was good to hear. The whole post made me smile.
She's an old, old acquaintance, i've watched her go through the whole process of self discovery and transition from a distance and she talks a lot now about feeling more stable, more true to herself, how a lot of hurt and anxieties she's carried a long time have been laid aside in the process of being who she really is. She sounds happy. Like, she's got her bad days, but she seems much happier, and when she's not happy stronger.
I know nothing but maybe you should start HRT? If your hormones get rejiggered it'll probably unfuck your brain a bit and you wont feel quite so doomed. Also it might give you some positive results that inspire you to work harder become who you want to be.
I had reasons I didn’t want to do HRT but at this point they don’t sound all that convincing anymore. Maybe I just need to do it.
It can't make things worse can it?
It really could for interpersonal reasons, but I’m still considering it.
Repressing is shit. If it feels too late now, imagine if in ten years you realize the dysphoria is too much and transition then. You'd wish you started now.
I’ve heard this argument and it just makes me more scared about getting it wrong, not more likely to act.
You can do it. Please, do not despair.
I’m trying and I’m doing a little better now. Thank you.
No prob.