I am 100% confident it's them because so many details lined up (team, size of family, compensation, role, location, job level) including them using a specific phrase of words after a few days I sent it in our work chat
Obviously, I can't prove it's them so HR would never take action. Not only that but this guy is one of those started coding when they were 10 years old so not only are they a higher level than me, they also perform way better than me so complaining to my manager or teammates would 100% also backfire as they would 100% prefer a very high performing misogynist and transphobe than a poor performing woke sjw (me)
Create a blank reddit account and start replying to him with details of his life
Send him a picture of his own front door.
This should shut him up. Even just replying with his real name like 'Kevin you know you're talking bs there' should frighten him
Keep it to just his name. Just getting his first name right will be enough to scare him. If you give any more details about his life he'll start trying to suss out who you are based on what you know.