• came_apart_at_Kmart [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    20 days ago

    Jeffenauld "Jeff" Blythewhite-Smytheton IV, heir to the A1 Sauce empire and, after a series of freak yachting accidents and Hapsburg-style stillbirths, owns 4% of Kraft-Heinz.

    his great grandfather invented an escape proof mechanism for child-sized manacles and made his fortune in "transatlantic shipping".