Hey, I'm a day late to this thread so I don't really have all the context, but it sounds like some assholes weren't happy about how quickly you used a large donation, said some shitty things, and you may be internalizing some of that.

All I want to say is that you have no one to apologize to other than yourself and others in your irl life. And only you and they can possibly determine if that's even warranted.

$4000 is a very large and generous donation, but it's nothing in comparison to the problems the unhoused experience in this country, especially unhoused people suffering from addiction. You would have needed a very good string of good luck for this to turn things around for you for the long term, and it's not at all a moral judgement on you that things didn't work out.

From the sounds of it, it bought you food and comfort over the past month, and that alone is nothing to be ashamed of.

Anyway comrade, that's all I wanted to say. Feel free to DM me if you ever need someone to talk things through with, I'm here.