I just realised that "like it's your first time" has a positive connotation I guess, but like... motherfucker? Do most people have non-awful first-time experiences of sex? Between garbage sex ed and cisheteronormativity I just can't imagine. I doubt it was even momentous for most people tbh? Idk.
It was my moms friend. The sex was bad, but it was extremely funny, looking back.
Damn my first was almost my friend's mum. Now that would have been funny.