I just realised that "like it's your first time" has a positive connotation I guess, but like... motherfucker? Do most people have non-awful first-time experiences of sex? Between garbage sex ed and cisheteronormativity I just can't imagine. I doubt it was even momentous for most people tbh? Idk.
Ehhh... For the first "attempt," I knew what I was doing, but I really should have spent some more time making sure she was relaxed than what I did. Access to lube would have been a huge help, too. Leaning in for a kiss while trying to push inside was a huge mistake and I almost got my tongue bitten off for my trouble. She may have joined the Evangelical version of a convent several years later.
As I said, memorably bad.
literally doing God's work
Lmao that's a funny punchline, sorry it was bad though
I wish I were joking. She went from being an atheist/agnostic to becoming a freaking minister. The American midwest and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race, etc.