I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
Again, I know it’s not easy. No one is motivated to do what is good for them every day. The key is habit. I didn’t feel like meditating, walking my dog, or climbing today, and I may have done them poorly, but I did them. I did them because I have to every day regardless of how I feel. I don’t feel good, but I would feel worse if I didn’t. I know it seens hopeless when you’re depressed, but I like being pessimistic because I keep trying and eventually something will go slightly better than I imagine and I’ll be pleased. I guess I’m lucky to have a little hypomania from time to time, but I promise things change eventually and the world isn’t so bad if you get out of your head and experience it sometimes (I’m usually miserably in my head, but it’s true).
i don't form habits or routines like that, and i always chafed against any kind of regular schedule
sounds like survivorship bias. the people who it doesn't improve for probably don't stick it out. It's been getting worse for 10+ years. Attempts to get treatment over the years ranged from useless to incredibly harmful. There's.... well, I'll skip the trauma dumping, tl;dr i need to be rescued, not bootstraps.
Change is the only constant. I know I won’t convince you of anything because you are committed to depression.
committed like a fluid is committed to the shape of a container. I can't will myself to succeed in capitalist and neurotypical society, i have no power over anyone else or my circumstances unless you're on some Sartre bullshit and i'm supposed to go kms.