I don’t have anything to look forward to in life except money entering my direct deposit every two weeks and back catalogs of podcasts. I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
Do stuff. See new things. Nature. I work 50-60 hours a week at the moment, but on my day off I always go to a museum or a big park. Does wonders for soul.
And although I get burnt out sometimes, the more you do, the more you do. Back when I was a student I did as little as possible. Worked subsistence wage for a basic quality of life. Now that I've got much more money coming in, fuck it, on the weekend if I turn up somewhere and some historic house is 20 quid to get in, I can easily drop 20 quid on it no worries. Work feels shit when you're spending the money to survive. It feels great when you're spending it to do things you previously couldn't.
I don't know if it's just in my genes, but I remember seeing the tickers on my dad and my grandma. I was in awe. They're always totally nonstop. Grans 89 and broke her ankle the other week by flipping her three wheeled bike from riding it too fast round a bend. Now I'm starting to get it. My motors running and it's almost more comfortable to keep it running than to switch it on and off all day.
It'll do wonders for your sleep quality too.
Mood. I have felt this way myself many times. I don't know if it helps at all, but it didn't last forever for me, so I hope maybe it won't last forever for you.
Depression makes everything so damn hard. Have you asked a doctor about medication? Sometimes anti-depressants and therapy can give you enough motivation to try something new and get out of that rut. If you get that energy back you should try something new that involves people if you have time, like joining a community garden or joining an org. Something that gives you a goal that matters to you. Because you matter.
Same, but vaguely employed with a short-term tutoring grift. But hey, I'm 46 episodes away from being current on Death is Just Around the Corner & while everything the host MSJ is saying seems to ring true, it's definitely making things worse (:
The New God's Funeral series of his is blowing my mind; it's an amazing analysis of how identity is instrumentalized by capital.
How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable Seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on’t! O fie! ’tis an unweeded garden, That grows to seed; things rank and gross in nature Possess it merely. That it should come to this!
This quote stuck in my mind the first time I read it, written at the beginning of capitalism it still strikes a chord with all the grist for the mill. When I am inevitably drafted into the reserve army of labor I only hope to frag my commanding officer.
Hit the gym, get swole, and then either you’re ready for whatever comes next or you can engage in hedonism while hot
hey depressed person: engage in a multi-year process that requires a ton of dedication, effort, and self-motivation!
Just get gains, don’t overthink it.
You’re gonna be sad anyway, be sad while lifting something.
This. It's actually surprisingly simple, too. I think the hardest part is just committing to starting it.
bruh what part of
Can’t bring myself to care about myself or life anymore
do you think is compatible with long-term regimented activity?
Stop thinking of it in terms of “you must do this specific thing in a regimented way every day until I die”
Maybe the issue here isn’t depression but perfectionism resulting in inaction?
Just pump some weights.
When I was depressed I watched YouTube in a kind of bored disengaged manner. I’m sure you having something like that too. Do that same thing but lifting something.
OP said they liked listening to podcasts. It’s perfect for OP.
i have a dumbell next to my desk, it does not become habitual.
it doesn't matter if the standard is daily or a few times a week if you do two days on three months off
It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking, than think your way into a new way of acting.
yeah its weird "advice", exercise does play a role in boosting serotonin levels and increasing longevity but a person doesn't need to become a bodybuilder to gain these benefits
even "just get fit lol" is fucking wild disregard for how depression does you.
It’s not easy, but mental fitness is possible with effort. Why is there so much stigma around giving people good advice? Sure well people can overstate how easy they think it is, but I’m pretty depressed most of the time and I still find interesting and healthy things to do. I know I’m lucky and it hasn’t cured me, but it’s possible to feel ok sometimes if you’re mindful and touch grass (I would never blame anyone for not doing those things, I’m just trying to help).
Why is there so much stigma around giving people good advice?
People are saying it's not good advice, not that good advice is bad.
Well, they’re wrong. Exercise objectively makes you feel better, like good food, socializing, doing things, and meditating. Obviously if you get too goal oriented (I don’t feel muscular enough etc) it can be bad, but generally such actions are good. I’m a big nihilist with executive dysfunction. When I do such things out of obligation, I still feel the benefit.
This is true. Not everyone who is depressed is sedentary, but everyone who is sedentary is depressed.
telling depressed people to magically come up with the willpower to do a bunch of hard work is completely unhelpful.
speaking for myself, if i had that effort to give and keep up consistently over a period of years i wouldn't have a problem in the first place and i'd be a good little PMC stemlord somewhere making the world worse instead of being a complete burnout.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but what you need is not motivation but to do things in spite of lacking the motivation.
yeah i'll just snap my fingers and make myself do stuff i can't make myself do
did i walk into a thread full of calvinists?Again, I know it’s not easy. No one is motivated to do what is good for them every day. The key is habit. I didn’t feel like meditating, walking my dog, or climbing today, and I may have done them poorly, but I did them. I did them because I have to every day regardless of how I feel. I don’t feel good, but I would feel worse if I didn’t. I know it seens hopeless when you’re depressed, but I like being pessimistic because I keep trying and eventually something will go slightly better than I imagine and I’ll be pleased. I guess I’m lucky to have a little hypomania from time to time, but I promise things change eventually and the world isn’t so bad if you get out of your head and experience it sometimes (I’m usually miserably in my head, but it’s true).
i don't form habits or routines like that, and i always chafed against any kind of regular schedule
but I promise things change eventually
sounds like survivorship bias. the people who it doesn't improve for probably don't stick it out. It's been getting worse for 10+ years. Attempts to get treatment over the years ranged from useless to incredibly harmful. There's.... well, I'll skip the trauma dumping, tl;dr i need to be rescued, not bootstraps.
Man, I hate that every man's reaction to depression is: they must be fat.
?? I didn’t say they were fat.
I told them to lift. If they aren’t fat then they should get fat while they lift. Gotta bulk and cut.
My reaction was that OP is bored and likes listening to podcasts. Lifting will make that experience more fun.
All these replies “but that won’t cure cancer as well” are missing the point in a weirdly defensive way about stuff I never said. Projecting ass mfers.
I'm not projecting, this is just something I see time and time again, guys implying that other guys online they know nothing about are depressed because they're fat.
You say hit the gym, implying they don't already. You say get swole, implying they aren't already. You say engage in hedonism, implying they don't already. You say get hot, implying they aren't already. To me, that's clear cut you're implying they're fat and need to fix it. Cause I guess swole, hedonistic, hot people have nothing to be depressed about? You catch my drift?
I mean it's not that deep, I'm just bored of the line that getting swole is the answer to depression, it'll probably help just as any exercise will if you're lacking it but it's not going to fix your problems, despite what queues of men are waiting to tell you.
EDIT: Also I love all sorts of body types. Plenty of chubby guys who are hot and sweethearts. Plenty of skinny guys who are drop dead gorgeous. And loads in between. Why they gotta be swole to be hot.
This is honestly just generally good advice for your health but also depression specifically.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression-and-exercise/art-20046495
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/exercise-is-an-all-natural-treatment-to-fight-depression
But once you get started and keep going, exercise can make a big difference.
lmao
However, pills aren't the only solution. Research shows that exercise is also an effective treatment. "For some people it works as well as antidepressants,
this is an indictment of antidepressants. SSRIs work like 1/3 of the time. not even a fucking coin flip. if exercise is the same as our top of the line medication then it's a fucking joke too and y'all are in here telling us to do shit that works less than half the time and the minority of success stories are equivalent to cherrypicked successes of liberal bootstraps ideology.
although exercise alone isn't enough for someone with severe depression,"
yeah harvard, you just said it doesn't help 70% of the time
I can see how regular exercise can help, but how is hedonism going to lead to anything beyond an emptier and more depressing life?
It doesn’t make life less empty but it’s a more fun type of nihilism
This is a shitty take. I'm pretty fit and good looking for someone my age or so I hear, but I really suck at picking up on social kills and have terrible self esteem issues/depression and anxiety, also as @OrionsMask@hexbear.net said it's lame to just assume someone'sstruggle is just because they are ugly or out of shape, i don't think you inrended harm but show a little more empathy when a comrade is struggling.
it's lame to just assume someone'sstruggle is just because they are ugly or out of shape
I fucking didn’t
its not bad advice and I don't think you meant anything by it, but saying "get swole and then you can do hedonism while hot" does absolutely assume OP is not already swole.
There’s being “not swole” and there is being ugly and you are the one conflating those two things not me, and if OP is already swole then that wouldn’t offend them and saying to someone who isn’t swole that getting swole will make them hotter is a broadly true thing to say, personal preferences of course introducing variance but the swole get more hedonistic interest it’s just a fact.
If I say someone should moisturize I am not calling them ugly and it’s a chip on your shoulder if you assume I’m insulting your appearance if I say those who use sun screen look better than those who don’t.
Lifting weights is fun and goes well with podcasts.
or out of shape
I agree you didn't imply anyone was ugly, many others do, that's the general tendency being described, your comment fell into the latter category
My whole life has been a break. I barely put effort into anything and if I do, it’s only enough to get it done. I have more time off than time spent working and I have nothing to do with it.
If you can find a tiny seed of passion somewhere in your life, and water it little by little, it can become a feedback loop where the bigger the seed grows, the more you want to water it, and the more you water it the more it grows, until some day you realize that your seed has grown into a tree. It's like this with learning an instrument. The better you get, the more you want to play, and the more you play the better you get.
Treating depression is also a feedback loop. At first nothing makes you happy, and you don't have the energy to do anything to change your situation. So you start really small. Work on it a little bit each day. Some days you just manage to shower. But over time, as you keep at it, positive changes start to accumulate, and you start to have more energy to make more positive changes, until some day you realize you're okay.
How about making plans for something to look forward to. Like a hike or a camping trip. Or pick up some active hobby, like swimming or disc golf or archery. Could make some buddies with mutual interests if you find something you like to do regularly.
This this this, you gotta give yourself things to look forward to.
It doesn't even have to be anything big or all that interesting either, packing a lunch and going to some touristy thing nearby can do wonders for the soul, even if whatever you go and see kinda sucks! Heck, just walking down a path youve never used or a route you've never taken helps too. Seeing where you live in a new light can be way fun.
My dumbest tip for keeping things whimsical is to have little treats with you and maybe even hide them some place you'll forget so that its doubly fun when you discover them again! It's lovely when I clean my car out and find that cookie I hid a couple months ago just so I could run into it like this.
literally this, road tripping to a pretty place, hiking, and either camping or sleeping in your car is the best way to reset your mood and get dopamine flowing. It doesn't even have to be with friends, changing your environment is all that is needed
Big mood
I'm kinda in the same boat. I'm trying to get out of it through self-improvement with other comrades (community improvement), you can join us if you want.
Which podcasts are you into?
Does your job insurance cover any kind of mental health services? Maybe you are vitamin deficient. One way or another this probably isn't your fault but you are in the unfortunate position of having to deal with it anyway.
Something that often – but not always! – helps me in this state is to find someone else to help instead. Seeing that I can make a difference for someone else can help renew my faith in the possibility of change and my ability to help enact it.
Is there something you can do that is focused on others? You mentioned a steady paycheck - if you can afford it, would it feel good to go be a mutual aid fairy and sprinkle some financial magic on your comrades? That could be a fun thing to look forward to every couple of weeks – throw a little payday party and bring out your inner Oprah: "You get a meal! And YOU get a meal! AND YOU get a meal!!!"
Sometimes just finding posts here or on reddit made by people going through similar things and commenting to tell them I don't have a solution but they're not alone helps me, too; if they're not alone, then neither am I.
Everyone is taking this post like it means you're not feeling well. But honestly...
So you actually look forward to the money every 2 weeks and your podcasts? Honestly that sounds... Enough to me? I could spend all my time working and listening to podcasts if that's what I enjoy. I myself only play video games and work (well and have sex with my partner all the time) and I'm happy.
You say "can't bring myself to care". Why exactly do you think you need to care about you or your life? Like, I'm perfectly happy right now and even I don't care about me or my life :D
What I'm trying to say is... You haven't actually said what you're missing. Do you have a desire for something that's not being fulfilled? Like do you need sex, romantic connection? friends? A sense of community? Connection to nature? Larger resource(money) acquisition?
Or of course, do you think something is missing, but you don't know what?
everyone is taking it that way because they read the post... you know, where he said
Can’t bring myself to care about myself or life anymore
and
I don’t have anything to look forward to in life
and
I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
classic hallmarks of depression. And if everything was just fine and dandy, he wouldn't have posted this, get real. The "why do you think you should care about anything?? =D" smiley nihilism energy isn't helpful or appealing tbh
If you believe it or not, your view is not the only right one. I'm not even saying my perspective is necessarily right for this person.
The responses to these threads are always the same. If they really worked, people would get out of their depression, but they mostly don't. Maybe it is useful to hear something different.
don’t have anything to look forward to in life
You conveniently left out the "except". Are you trying to deliberately make them feel even worse? They actually have something to look forward to. That is actually amazing. Acting as if it doesn't count is just... Wow, I don't know.
I don’t even want to listen to music anymore.
People's tastes change. What they want to spend their time on changes. It's not a big deal if someone doesn't want to listen to music anymore. It has been shown that making less of a big deal out of things helps with depression.
if everything was just fine and dandy, he wouldn’t have posted this,
Maybe apply your reading comprehension skills to my post as well. Obviously I know that not everything is fine and dandy. I'm offering a different perspective than anything that was posted in this thread. Different perspectives are valuable, even if mine turns out to be wrong for this person. Through interacting with people and getting in contact with lots of different perspectives you can also actually get out of depression.
smiley nihilism energy isn’t helpful or appealing tbh
Again, for you. For me it actually got me out of depression, even though you'll probably not believe me. Maybe it works for them, maybe it doesn't. But you just being contrarian is definitely not helping anything.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
