it always embarassed me growing up that our house was kind of dirty.

like i avoided bringing women over and shit because of the clutter.

i cant be the only one who grew up like this.

  • ButtBidet [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 months ago

    Not to downplay your legit pain. Buy my parents were the opposite and it was pretty oppressive. Really cared about appearance, and I never had a genuine convo with them in my life.

    On the other side of things, my partner's family has a healthy relationship with dirtiness. They clean up after themselves, but there may be a random unused thing in the corner that's been there for months. They're such nicer people.

    Edit: let me add that I would be fine with coming to see you at your place. Cleanliness is not that important for me as friendships go.

    • Sulvor [he/him, undecided]
      ·
      3 months ago

      Same, always had to be perfect and pristine. It was exhausting.

      Say, it was just the four of us (supposed family) and me or my brother burped at dinner or used our fingers on food, my mother was downright pearl-clutching scandalized.

      If I have kids I will never treat the home like a constant formal dinner environment.

    • Hexboare [they/them]
      ·
      3 months ago

      It depends on OP's level of "messy" - as in things are so cluttered you don't have a desk or other flat surface to do homework on

      I had a parent like yours and I think it was better than what the alternative sounds like

      • Darth_Reagan [they/them, comrade/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 months ago

        As a child I had nowhere to do homework, everywhere was a mess. When I was a teenager we didn't even really have a living room, because it was disgusting and full of junk, they would also constantly argue, meaning I never spent any time outside of my room.

        I wished my parents were anal about keeping things clean.