I am a lazy failure who can't do anything. Basic shit I consistently just... don't do. Its embarrassing. I don't even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I've wanted to for years that I've just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I'm not fucking doing that. I've been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I'm fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can't even remember when the last time I didn't struggle with this. And it doesn't feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I'm not sure how it ever can get better.
its a mood. I'm currently not doing the one thing I have to do to not get fired at my fake ass job, I've been trying to do it since friday and just utterly failing, mostly posting or watching youtube (quarantining due to covid exposure so I can't go out and do much tbf, but I have plenty to do at home too)
I don't think we are lazy. But that doesn't mean there isn't a problem. I've done slightly better since I started framing it in my mind less as "what's wrong with me?" and more as "what can I do about it?". Sometimes the answer is just "idk try and push through you've got no other choice" but usually taking care of myself better, trying again when I'm more caffeinated or got some sleep, or some other combination of things helps a little bit.
I'm still a hot mess (don't look at my work performance or how messy my place is), but I mostly get by. I got hormones, for a few months earlier this year I was even reading books and shit.
I do think about trying to get tested for audhd and get medicated, but I also kinda hate psychiatrists so I haven't yet.