Look at current active posts (5 min if I look at comments), look at news mega (10 min if I haven't looked at it in about 12 hours), sort posts by top 6 hours, see nothing new, sort by top 12 hours, see maybe 1 new post in my slop (2 min), sort by new and look at new posts (2 min), call someone a liberal (30 sec), sort by active again and then repeat
When you reach that point when you should really be going to bed, may I instead suggest a half-hour browsing session of your own posts sorted by top of all time, sifting through them the way a miserly king may scoop up his treasure and let it run through his hands, savoring each coin and jewel as they slip between his fingers one by one