I can't deal with this. My partner of 5 years left , I have no job I have no family that gives a shit I have nothing I am done. I'm never goin to find love again because I'm a miserable unnatractive piece of shit and I can't even look I don't know how to date even if I did I'd just be burdening someone else with me it'd be so much better if I could just die but I'm such a fucking coward I can't do it I might pick up hard drugs to die slower I cant do this
The society lives in my head. I've been a socialist coming on a decade now and I still have the pressure from things I don't believe at all living in my head , telling me I'm an atomized individual that doesn't have value to be exchanged , that the state wants me dead because I come from nothing and I don't provide enough value to capital. I wish I was strong enough to fight back