So one day a monkey went to god and asked, "Yo god, why am I a monkey?" God said, "'Cause wanted to invent a stupid fucking goofy-ass looking animal and thats you, monkey. lol."
Monkey was kind of pissed at being created as a joke but didn't want to disrespect his creator and instead of getting mad, said. "Well, it's kind of hard being a goofy-ass monkey. People laugh at me. Humans keep bulldozing my trees and I'm pretty sure I have like ten parasites that are killing me. Could you maybe make the universe suck a little less. Please, oh great one?"
God said, "Shh shut the fuck up monkey, I'm busy having twelve orgasms at once because I'm god and can do whatever I want."
Monkey got so mad that he farted really hard and died from the ten parasites. The parasites then escaped and climbed up gods butthole, injecting monkey blood into god. The monkey blood infected god with monkey magic and turned him into a monkey.
The End.
I already am. I'm literally Steven King and this is the sequel to Misery that I've been working on. What do you think?
And who was that monke? I like to think it was me all along 😔
I believe in my heart of hearts that every small, soft American child can read this story and imagine that they, too, could be the monke.
:monke-beepboop: :monke-rage: :monke-return: :le-monke:
