It's fucking baffling that all of these people have experienced ecological threats that fucked up the air, water, and everything in general and ignored that, saw a plane flying by, and shouted "POISON!" And now, instead of picking up on a credible threat, they had to go with predatory cabals under pizza restaurants and mole-children.
I know media/news narratives are powerful, but god damn.
Maybe you could try convincing them that like Bill Gates or whomever personally engineered the whole microplastic thing because he hates big beautiful penises
You need a bad guy with a nefarious plan for these guys to care
Bill Gates actually named microsoft after his tiny flaccid peen.