The Lt. Colonel then left the stage without taking questions from pre-approved press.

  • dmonzel@lemm.ee
    ·
    10 months ago

    A dinosaur preserve from the river to the sea? Doesn't sound too bad, honestly.

    • happybadger [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      10 months ago

      And what do you think they will do once they have resurrected dinosaurs in their hospital laboratories? They will unleash dinosaur jihad on the west. Only the IDF stands between order and chaos.

  • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    I need a refresher. Wasn't Jurassic Park about the hubris of a bunch of white people who loved building cages that couldn't keep the caged inside? And then brought a bunch of people to party near one of the enclosures before a terrible intelligence blunder allowed the caged to roam free and attack the partygoers? Didn't it end with the survivors fleeing the place and the caged taking over?

    I'm just asking questions. I'm as confused as you!

    • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      Imagine yourself in the anthropocenne. You step onto a street, and there he is. He moves like a bird, bobbing his head, and you keep still thinking his strategic warfare doctrine is based on combine arms like the Soviets. But no, not hamas. You stare at him and he just stares right back.

      And that's when the attack comes fwwwwwwwwwwp. Not from the front, but from the sides. The other two Hamas you didn't even know were there. You see Hamas uses coordinated attack patterns, and is out in force today.

      • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]
        ·
        10 months ago

        IDF: Look, they're noisy, they're messy, they're expensive ... they smell

        Reporter: They do not smell.

        IDF: Some of them smell.

        Reporter: Oh, give me a break!

        IDF: Hamas Babies smell!

          • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]
            ·
            10 months ago

            IDF: I don’t believe it. I just don’t believe it. I bring the UN here to protect me from Hamas, and the only one I’ve got on my side is the blood-sucking Biden.

            biden-alert: Thank you!

            biden-rember: What, we'll have a, uh, four-hour corridor per day or something.

        • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]
          ·
          10 months ago

          England: You wanna have one of those?

          Scotland: I don't want that revolutionary movement, but a breed of armed separatism could be intriguing

    • happybadger [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      10 months ago

      No longer needing paragliders as each new generation contains more and more dinosaur DNA.

  • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    Oh man, oh man, oh geez. I didn't worry enough when they said Hamas was a Voldemort, but they didn't tell me Hamas was a T-Rex! They must be stopped!

    • happybadger [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      10 months ago

      clicking to the next slide, the audience gasped as the Lt. Col. displayed a picture of a gigantic ape on the Empire State Building holding a white woman. He began to sob as he tried to get through the sentence, "this is what Hamas wants."

      • DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml
        ·
        10 months ago

        Well, now I'm confused. I'm actually pro-giant ape, so maybe Hamas isn't all that bad? I hate all this thinking stuff! I wish someone else could just do it for me!

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    I know this is a bit, but damn did that IDF "dae le worse than le Voldemort" propaganda have massive "Just like in the treats!" energy. so-true