After seeing some threads it's clear that there are chapos here who need a mentor in the romantic arts (tm). Pitch me your best Q's and I'll spit my best A's.
I've been a professional dating coach and matchmaker for the last 6 years.
edit: Wrapped up for now. Thanks everyone and good luck out there, you can do it!
Any advice for disabled people, or those with physical deformities? Not going to go into too much detail but I basically have a degenerative disease, have had multiple surgeries and my body is covered in large scars and made of titanium basically. While trying to date I've received disparaging remarks, both before and after the surgeries, which really put me off dating in general. Even if they aren't any rude comments I feel as if the other person sees me as lesser than them because I cant do certain things most people can (stuff like bending down, walking long distances, etc). Am I just surrounded by assholes, or is it all in my head and do I need to accept that people are going to react in unforeseen ways? My new way of going about it in the future is just to be brutally upfront and honest in an attempt to try weed out the assholes and anyone not interested in all that. I understand if you don't answer because it's an internet comment and there's no way you can get all the context and background information, etc
You're right that there's a lot going on in this question, but a few things that can be really helpful:
From what you've said, you've been hurt in the past and that's made you wary. A huge thing with dating is feeling good about yourself going into a date. That can be tough when you have things about yourself you're insecure about, so focusing on working through that with a therapist can be helpful. This is not "improve yoself bruh" it's more learning to accept and love yourself as you are.
Depending on the severity of your condition, it might be a good idea to look into dating others with similar physical conditions. They'll have organically developed empathy from shared life experiences.
I've worked with clients of all backgrounds and degrees of physical ability. It can definitely be difficult at first for them, but it's still very possible to find a partner. Make sure you're extending that same (reasonable) expectation of acceptance to the people you're dating.
Ultimately, if someone is going to judge you or mock you on a date, you're 100% correct that they're an asshole. If anything, they're saving you time.