The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. It's a book that I wish I had read much earlier, and so I decided to start a reading group. I'm a couple chapters in but will be re-reading (well, re-listening) to the chapters as we go through the book. This book is an empathetic look at masculinity, and focuses on learning how to love.

This idea was spawned by comrade @Othello@hexbear.net after I mentioned that I had been checking out the book and played the first chapter on Hextube. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter. Let's start with Chapter 1. Each chapter is only about 30 minutes long, so it's not a long commitment. I wanted to post this to c/menby but that didn't seem to work.

Uhh I don't know how to lead a reading group so let's start out with some questions:

-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?

    • PointAndClique [they/them]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I finished the book last night and I think I agree broadly with your views, and likewise I didn't find any great revelation, just reframing and perspective from people with different life experience to me.

      But whatever is wrong with me is not fundamentally about the harm done to me by patriarchy.

      This reminds me of the section in the book where hooks recounts talking about 'patriarchal imperialist capitalism' during a lecture, the whole box and dice, and the audience laughs. The charitable interpretation of the audience's reaction is it's almost too much to tackle at once so what can you do but laugh.

      There's a lot more to it and the examples she cites of feminist men who end up reproducing patriarchal violence and domination after taking on jobs with higher status does go some way to suggesting that it's capitalism's instrumentalisation of patriarchy that makes it so insidious, but capitalism is the eclipsing problem here.