getting away from your chud relatives to experience eye watering alienation in the city isn’t romantic either.

Sorry, but I really, really, really hate this take and find it to be incredibly reactionary at heart. Small towns have plenty of "eye watering alienation", especially when you have a small family or one that moved away! Urbanization is not really coercive either. There's no fucking jobs in cities! All the jobs are in far flung exurbs and suburbs, where it's easier to commute to from a small town than from an actual city.