There's a filthy owl at the controls, how distasteful. Everything is on time, but the whole train is filled with owl pellets! There is a conspicuous lack of rats in the station, though...
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You got owl pellets everywhere! The passengers won't ride, it's too gross! The janitor had to work overtime today! What do you have to say for yourself?
A followup post - What a "oneman" train is in Japan. - Hexbear