- cross-posted to:
- literature
- cross-posted to:
- literature
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter. This time we are doing chapters 2 & 3. Each chapter is only about 30 minutes long, so it's not a long commitment. Let me know if two chapters a week is too much or if I should change the format.
Discuss-
-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?
The acknowledgement (however depressing it may be) that there is an actual system in place to deny boys, men, guys, mascs, etc like 50% or more of potential social interactions. And that its so woven into our society that its just... normal. And that it comes from all quarters, teachers, parents, other family, neighbors, all the way down to peers.
Personal anecdote: I was in middle school and getting bullied at recess by like 3 boys. There wasn't anything physical, just verbal abuse that I can't remember the content of. The only part that I can remember... is when one of the bullies said something like "I bet you like to eat pussy!" I asked him why I would have a problem eating pussy and that's about when he realized his insult was kind of a fuck up. When the other boys realized their bullying accidentally accused me of being not only "straight" but having "gone farther" with a girl than any of them... like it was a bad thing... they just kinda lost interest and wandered off.
Its a weirdly interesting thing to remember and think about in this context. That these middle school kids, who were just caught up in a cycle of bullying to try to maintain their place in the hierarchy of kids on the playground (or just among the trio) were trying to make an insult about my sexuality and ... couldn't have been "manliness" but "boy-ness" seems awkward... but still had the residual "girls are icky" programming from elementary school days they walked into a moment of cognitive dissonance for everybody.
The reference to Harry Potter as a recent world phenomenon and how its a bit of wish fulfillment geared to boys and young men and how its language and solutions to problems demonstrate how limited stories are for boys/men. I mean... for me it was Ender's Game back in the 90's. That book hit me super hard, it was the first really long book I had ever read (and I was an avid reader from a very young age) and the first book that I read multiple times. And boy howdy is the world and story super fucked up... I keep hearing about the anime/manga Attack on Titan and its ending and I almost want to reread Ender's Game and then watch the series to see how much the main characters Ender/Eren are similar.