Some quotes that resonated from chapter 2:

• "in reality I was stronger and more violent than my brother, which we quickly learned was bad. He was a gentle, peaceful boy, which we learned was really bad"
• "his gentle quiet manner often led folks to ignore him, counting him among the weak and powerless"
• "psychological patriarchy is a dance of contempt, a perverse form of connection that replaces true intimacy with complex covert layers of dominance and submission, collusion and manipulation"

From chapter 3:

• "boys are free to be more emotional in early childhood because they have not yet learned to fear and despise expressing dependence"
• "either boys act out, or they implode. Very few boys are taught to express, with words, what they feel, when they feel it"
• "aggression (antisocial behaviour/isolation) was part of the ritual of separation, a means for the growing boy to assert his autonomy"
• "patriarchy both creates the rage in boys and then contains it for later use, making it a resource to exploit later when boys become men. As a national product, this rage can be garnered to further imperialism, hatred, and oppression of women and men globally. This rage is needed if boys are to become men willing to travel around the world to fight wars without ever demanding that other ways of solving conflict be found"

Some personal reflections:

I remember moments throughout my childhood where the most disturbing thing I could do in my dad's opinion was to be gentle. The story told in chapter 2, about not caring who wins or loses marbles touched on this experience exactly.

Another moment came from my mum and a family friend, insisting that I was about to become an isolated, angry teenager, before I'd actually exhibited any of that behaviour. Somehow showing me the path I should be on and preemptively shaming me for it.

Lots to think about from these chapters