People often misinterpret privilege as a sense that the privileged person's life is amazing. To me, it is the absence of certain adversities or obstacles faced by other groups of people.
Some truly interesting perspectives in this guy's story. I'm pretty conscious of some of this stuff as I raise two boys.
The bathroom and handshake things are real. Some things are more nuanced like the office admin stuff.
The diet one is new and baffling though. There's definitely office banter about food. I haven't ever been aware of it being gender based, though.
My opinions and ideas have also stopped being so heavily scrutinised or as regularly challenged. Responses to my ideas have changed from a "No, because" or "Have you thought of" to more of a "Yes, and".
Genuine question: might this just be because he transitioned at 17 and went from being treated as a child pre-transition to an adult post-transition?
No it’s a well-studied woman thing.
“… women tend to be underestimated more. They tend to be interrupted, more talked over more. They have to prove their competence more and we often feel uncomfortable when they're in positions of authority.” https://www.forbes.com/sites/michelleking/2021/10/26/the-authority-gap-why-women-are-still-taken-less-seriously-than-men/?sh=3ed8223e634d
Oh dude I went the other way as an adult. I have a deep voice and I'm tall so I'm pretty obviously trans.
Even so people went from just default listening to me and taking my ideas seriously to just ignoring me half the time. It's most egregious with strangers, if I speak about anything technical people often overrule say my opinion on something physics (An area I'm pretty knowledgable in and relatively good at communicating) for some half remembered anecdote some man told them, previously they'd be like "Oh wow that's interesting, I always thought X" or something far more indicative that they listened.
I’m pretty obviously trans.
That could be enough maybe? Anyone who is perceived as "strange" gets second hand citizenship, even if it's subtle.
Nah it happens even when I keep my mouth shut. Like men just look past you when looking for answers, people in shops will just ask a guy you're with what they want etc. Hell when I worked IT and people only knew my email signature I'd get the "can I get a man/someone more senior/an it specialist to look at this" after I'd give my opinion.
Yeah, it's pretty clear we live in a very sexist society. I think when people who aren't exposed to gender equality movements much hear that they think it's a claim of rabid misogyny. It's not that though, most people aren't frothing at the mouth to say how shit women are (although we have a particularly nasty problem with domestic violence which is quite violent), it manifests in ways such as:
- finding women more annoying than men exhibiting the same behaviour
- speaking over women without even noticing they've talked
- requiring higher standards of evidence for statements made by women
- not actively seeking out the opinions of women in conversation in favour of giving attention to men
- demanding women adopt masculine mannerisms and socialisation to be taken seriously
It catches men in the crossfire too, men who fail to meet masculine standards are discounted. Think about short men, or men with higher pitched soft voices etc.
It's frustrating and why it's not enough to just try not be sexist, but to be specifically anti sexist. That is, to make a point of compensating for biases you probably don't want to express but were likely conditioned into expressing as a child in order to approach something more like truly fair treatment.
I'll keep that in mind... If I'm ever well enough to leave the apartment again lol.
