I had posted some daily updates back in June but then things turned mean and traumatic and it stopped being so funny.
My attempt to have an existing relationship with my dad kinda careened off a cliff when he called me names and insulted my wife while getting coffee, which I paid for — the audacity! So that night he posted some dumb quote from Ayn Rand about Capitalism being benign, and I had just been reading about Indian Schools, dead children and the unmarked graves, and I knew she was a native genocide apologist. So I told him, Ayn Rand was a dumb bitch; he continues to talk about politics when I don't want to engage with him. He said he'd do whatever he wants, so I insulted him. I went by the next day to pick up something and he yelled in front of my grandma, my brother, and my kid. It was the yelling at me in front of my kid that almost made me lose my shit. I was dropping him off. So I almost did a u-turn and went back to beat his ass.
I ended up, just cussing him out and warning him never to speak to me that way; he was adamant he will do whatever he wants, so I warned him next time I will kick his fucking teeth in, blocked him, and haven't spoken to him since.
After that happened, I talked to my therapist who compared it to family members of Alcoholics, who think they have to control their family member, to try and change them. I basically just gotta let him live his life the way he wants and set my boundaries. And my boundaries include not talking to him right now, he keeps telling my mom he is ready to make amends but I am not.
Obviously this isn't the first time he has done this shit; and he used/was/is an abusive piece of shit, so I don't need that shit.
How did he react to the news?
I don't know, he has been dead to me since June.
I'm sorry and I'm glad for you, if that makes any sense
It does, thank you.
feel free to let this question drop but if you are disposed to saying, what happened in June
I had posted some daily updates back in June but then things turned mean and traumatic and it stopped being so funny.
My attempt to have an existing relationship with my dad kinda careened off a cliff when he called me names and insulted my wife while getting coffee, which I paid for — the audacity! So that night he posted some dumb quote from Ayn Rand about Capitalism being benign, and I had just been reading about Indian Schools, dead children and the unmarked graves, and I knew she was a native genocide apologist. So I told him, Ayn Rand was a dumb bitch; he continues to talk about politics when I don't want to engage with him. He said he'd do whatever he wants, so I insulted him. I went by the next day to pick up something and he yelled in front of my grandma, my brother, and my kid. It was the yelling at me in front of my kid that almost made me lose my shit. I was dropping him off. So I almost did a u-turn and went back to beat his ass.
I ended up, just cussing him out and warning him never to speak to me that way; he was adamant he will do whatever he wants, so I warned him next time I will kick his fucking teeth in, blocked him, and haven't spoken to him since.
After that happened, I talked to my therapist who compared it to family members of Alcoholics, who think they have to control their family member, to try and change them. I basically just gotta let him live his life the way he wants and set my boundaries. And my boundaries include not talking to him right now, he keeps telling my mom he is ready to make amends but I am not.
Obviously this isn't the first time he has done this shit; and he used/was/is an abusive piece of shit, so I don't need that shit.
that sounds very difficult, sounds like you are handling it intelligently. I wish you strength
Thank you, I wrote him a half-finished eulogy and have kinda buried myself in family, work, games and books...