I like to push boundaries and challenge people's prejudice every now and then. So I walked into the reception at work today, climbed a table, pulled down my pants, and took a huge dump on it. Somebody contacted security, who refused to hear me out and forcibly removed me from the premises.

People are up in arms about my "disgusting behavior" but they have yet to offer a SINGLE logical argument for why they think what I did was wrong. "It's unsanitary" Not if you don't touch the poop. Are you some kind of poop toucher? "It's offensive" that's your subjective opinion, hardly grounds to fire me. "People can't work like this, they are distracted by the smell" lady how prude do you have to be to pretend to never have been to a bathroom? It's a natural scent, you should be used to it.

Even HR couldn't come up with anything rational to say, they just told me not to come back to the office. The fact that everyone got so emotional about the whole thing must mean that I'm doing something right! Right?