It's certainly not 'essential, but then neither is the difference between me and a chimp, or me and a cat. Different strings of proteins growing in different animals. I'm well aware of the awful shit I'm capable of doing.
It's less about setting myself apart, more about expressing how alienated and other I feel about the whole mess. How much I feel there isn't a world for me. I built myself around ideas of what's right and useful and figuring out what's good to so I can make the world better soon can be a better happier person, then built a conscience to guide me, however haphazardly and ineptly, in that. About being entirely alienated from an entrenched world of people who find a system to be a part of, any system, no matter how awful, and build their self and 'conscience' around defending that.
Obviously I loathe them, at least a bit; it's destructive and awful. My statements of being apart can't help but reflect that bitterness, but it's not about essential difference, it's about being isolated in a sea of creatures that want to be CHUDs, that choose it over humanity every single fucking day-i recognize they have that choice, and if I hate them, it's because of that. It's about being alone, it's about having everything I've ever tried to build crushed by unspeakably petty monsters who, even when they're friendly, literally can't comprehend the most basic concepts of decency or compassion or justice-which is really gross when you try to date and someone you were just thinking about touching reveals they literally can't register a simple concept you've just uttered, despite knowing more than enough prerequisite information, like it literally just skips out of their brain. It's about forgetting what friendship and love and comeraderie even feel like, and wondering if I ever actually knew. It's about being too jaded to even really seek human connection, because everywhere I look is just more of that. Every time I try, every stranger I see, is just more of that.
It's not about wishing them ill; they do plenty of that themselves. If they were so different, they would be harder to hate. It's easier to forgive a dog that bites or a cat that pisses on my lunch than a human who does the same.
you keep operating within a false dichotomy of chud/humanity, myself/them, mind-working/lazy acceptance. You are also treating justice and decency like absolutes, they are not. They are products of the culture you live in. as are these people, as are you. Also, you're not alone. Do you see where you are? Stop putting up walls around yourself, and decrying your isolated state. Join an org, meet more like minded individuals, honestly just get some help, you're not talking like someone who is mentally sound. I'm not saying this to gaslight you or say "she's insane, ignore what she's saying." I'm saying the intense alienation you are describing is unhealthy and you need to deal with it. Also, a lot of libs can comprehend it. There;s a reason we don;t just call every lib a chud. Lots of people are well meaning, just too brainwashed to break out of liberal thought. Yes, it sucks we always have to put ourselves out there, always get burned to teach just the one out of ten we'll reach. But the important thing is that we can win. Focus on victory.
It's not a dichotomy. It's a bunch of entitiesthathave made very extreme choices somewhat pervasively, and another entity that has made very different choices as much as it could.
It would not be healthy to identify with something so thoroughly hostile to me.
I don't know how not alone I am here, but I haven't been here long and have formed no close connections. It does not change the fact of interacting with libs.
I haven't found any active orgs in my region. I check periodically.
I tried therapy, two psychologists in a row literally could not comprehend being part of an unjust system when it came up. They just, like, blue screened. I'm well aware that this is unhealthy; I wouldn't be upset if it wasn't, but you can't magically conjure a solution into existence with wishes and fairy dust. Sometimes all the food is gone, and all the leather shoes are eaten, and you can't find any rats, and you just starve for a bit. Hello rat friend, would you like to share a pot of tea?
'well meaning' in a framework of 'justifying being a monster', yes. I find conversations with avowed monsters and literal psychopaths more rewarding and more sources of genuine connection than libs.
I don't know if I believe victory is possible at this point. With the climate going how it is, and nuclear arsenals increasing, I feel like the hour is getting pretty damn late. I don't need to believe I can win to keep going, that's some lib hopeium bullshit, but I do feel isolated, I do feel other, and I do get much better reactions from libs when I interact with them sans respect, treating them like the objects they strive to be rather than the beings capable and deserving of respect honesty and autonomy they damn well should be.
Is it right to rob someone of their precious chains against their will? To take the only thing they really own while they scream and spit and claw at me in protest? The only thing they ever learned to make for themselves, and then promptly cauterized the parts of their brain that can take new information? The only thing they really love and cherish? Fuck if I know. I just try to plant gardens and shit so somebody can have a snack and shade after eviction.
There's a lot going on here, and I don't know you outside this interaction, so I can't pass judgement or determine what you are doing right or wrong. All I can say about this in particular is I hope you can find someone who understands what you feel.
I will or I won't, to whatever degree. Libs will remain frustrating sources of alienation.
Best wishes and crap. Or... Whatever kind of wishes you'd prefer; I'd hate to be prescriptive. Maybe you want kind of a shitty day to make a good dramatic arc? Not judging.
It's certainly not 'essential, but then neither is the difference between me and a chimp, or me and a cat. Different strings of proteins growing in different animals. I'm well aware of the awful shit I'm capable of doing.
It's less about setting myself apart, more about expressing how alienated and other I feel about the whole mess. How much I feel there isn't a world for me. I built myself around ideas of what's right and useful and figuring out what's good to so I can make the world better soon can be a better happier person, then built a conscience to guide me, however haphazardly and ineptly, in that. About being entirely alienated from an entrenched world of people who find a system to be a part of, any system, no matter how awful, and build their self and 'conscience' around defending that.
Obviously I loathe them, at least a bit; it's destructive and awful. My statements of being apart can't help but reflect that bitterness, but it's not about essential difference, it's about being isolated in a sea of creatures that want to be CHUDs, that choose it over humanity every single fucking day-i recognize they have that choice, and if I hate them, it's because of that. It's about being alone, it's about having everything I've ever tried to build crushed by unspeakably petty monsters who, even when they're friendly, literally can't comprehend the most basic concepts of decency or compassion or justice-which is really gross when you try to date and someone you were just thinking about touching reveals they literally can't register a simple concept you've just uttered, despite knowing more than enough prerequisite information, like it literally just skips out of their brain. It's about forgetting what friendship and love and comeraderie even feel like, and wondering if I ever actually knew. It's about being too jaded to even really seek human connection, because everywhere I look is just more of that. Every time I try, every stranger I see, is just more of that.
It's not about wishing them ill; they do plenty of that themselves. If they were so different, they would be harder to hate. It's easier to forgive a dog that bites or a cat that pisses on my lunch than a human who does the same.
you keep operating within a false dichotomy of chud/humanity, myself/them, mind-working/lazy acceptance. You are also treating justice and decency like absolutes, they are not. They are products of the culture you live in. as are these people, as are you. Also, you're not alone. Do you see where you are? Stop putting up walls around yourself, and decrying your isolated state. Join an org, meet more like minded individuals, honestly just get some help, you're not talking like someone who is mentally sound. I'm not saying this to gaslight you or say "she's insane, ignore what she's saying." I'm saying the intense alienation you are describing is unhealthy and you need to deal with it. Also, a lot of libs can comprehend it. There;s a reason we don;t just call every lib a chud. Lots of people are well meaning, just too brainwashed to break out of liberal thought. Yes, it sucks we always have to put ourselves out there, always get burned to teach just the one out of ten we'll reach. But the important thing is that we can win. Focus on victory.
It's not a dichotomy. It's a bunch of entitiesthathave made very extreme choices somewhat pervasively, and another entity that has made very different choices as much as it could.
It would not be healthy to identify with something so thoroughly hostile to me.
I don't know how not alone I am here, but I haven't been here long and have formed no close connections. It does not change the fact of interacting with libs.
I haven't found any active orgs in my region. I check periodically.
I tried therapy, two psychologists in a row literally could not comprehend being part of an unjust system when it came up. They just, like, blue screened. I'm well aware that this is unhealthy; I wouldn't be upset if it wasn't, but you can't magically conjure a solution into existence with wishes and fairy dust. Sometimes all the food is gone, and all the leather shoes are eaten, and you can't find any rats, and you just starve for a bit. Hello rat friend, would you like to share a pot of tea?
'well meaning' in a framework of 'justifying being a monster', yes. I find conversations with avowed monsters and literal psychopaths more rewarding and more sources of genuine connection than libs.
I don't know if I believe victory is possible at this point. With the climate going how it is, and nuclear arsenals increasing, I feel like the hour is getting pretty damn late. I don't need to believe I can win to keep going, that's some lib hopeium bullshit, but I do feel isolated, I do feel other, and I do get much better reactions from libs when I interact with them sans respect, treating them like the objects they strive to be rather than the beings capable and deserving of respect honesty and autonomy they damn well should be.
Is it right to rob someone of their precious chains against their will? To take the only thing they really own while they scream and spit and claw at me in protest? The only thing they ever learned to make for themselves, and then promptly cauterized the parts of their brain that can take new information? The only thing they really love and cherish? Fuck if I know. I just try to plant gardens and shit so somebody can have a snack and shade after eviction.
There's a lot going on here, and I don't know you outside this interaction, so I can't pass judgement or determine what you are doing right or wrong. All I can say about this in particular is I hope you can find someone who understands what you feel.
I will or I won't, to whatever degree. Libs will remain frustrating sources of alienation.
Best wishes and crap. Or... Whatever kind of wishes you'd prefer; I'd hate to be prescriptive. Maybe you want kind of a shitty day to make a good dramatic arc? Not judging.