I feel you. I have been going through some of same and similar feelings and I don't know what to say to help, but you are not the only one who feels anything like this. I'm not a therapist so feel free to ignore what ever I say. It's like not knowing how to be a human and it fucks with your head and it's so isolating. Idk what to do or say to fix it because if I did I wouldn't be feeling similar but I get it