That's fair comrade. As leftists we're used to being ahead of the curve on social issues and that includes gender norms. Even progressive libs don't really "get" nonbinary gender presentation. I hope you at least find what makes you happy privately with your own experimentation and find some more open minded online groups to gas you up when you explore how you feel rather than making you feel like it's not acceptable, because it's what everyone deserves. I know those things are easier said than done and it's not an easy journey by any stretch though.