definitely relate. and yeah I think this is usually a male experience. like i get it, women need to look out for eachother and men usually like caring about women, but I wish I could get some of that treatment for me! I want hugs too :meow-hug: All I fucking got was my so-called friend telling me I need to be "more stoic like a Navy Seal" (told him I don't emulate crazy baby killing psychopaths)

you are right that I don't ever really see males struggle with this openly, but in my opinion I think a lot of males just don't realize they are allowed to be vulnerable (well they sort of aren't allowed as we are discussing) and pursue toxic/self-destructive behavior to cope with that. there's also a spectrum of how emotional people are though a lot of males try to actively repress that. I suppose the standard solution is just to find a girlfriend and make her your therapist but that can be pretty toxic for her and as you said trying to date is an "exercise in suicidality" (really like that btw :michael-laugh:)