I've been feeling like I fucking brainwashed my self and honest to god sometimes I feel like I'm just a red version of Nazi. Before you hit me I don't think we're as bad as Nazis but like.....I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if we're wrong and we actually are just like jealous of the wealthy and the world is indeed a fair, equitable place where you can become prosperous if you work hard enough.
I think I struggle with these doubts a lot because I went from being sucked into the whole 4chan reactionary thing just from a "contact high" from when I still used that shitty website but it never felt right to me and when I read Estranged Labor I'm like "wait this dude spittin straight facts, more than (((da jooz))) nonsense" and pretty much instantly abandoned my old worldview and felt really lost until I discovered all these fucked up websites and well...now I got a bunch of communist songs in my likes. Sometimes I just feel like I went in the opposite direction, and have to wonder if it's even possible to arrive at an objective "truth" or model of the world, and if a lot of the reasons why Marxism seems intuitively correct to me are largely born out of my own particular experiences, which always feel to me like they can't be all that common. It all just seems so obvious now but I still think: "what if I'm we stretch the truth and make shit up in the same way reactionaries do?"
I don't know. I sometimes feel like I'm not right in the head when I think shit like "damn landlords should be thrown into a pit" or "billionaires aren't human" or "dead cops, dead cops, army of the rich, we'll piss on your grave, won't be your slave!" because of how extreme it is.
I mean I can't really function at work anymore, I just think all this shit is absurd. It always feels like, "are people just dumb or blind? Do they not get it? I got it even before I read theory!" and then I just feel like I'm off in my own unreality where billionaire pedophiles blast off into space during a pandemic and everything really sucks.
I think I'm just going to pick up reefer.
The core of a fascist's belief is the focus on himself. But the core of a communist's belief is your focus on fellow humans/sentient beings. It's the power of avarice versus the power of love.
Any monetary system that involves interest, debt, and exchange of these abstractions will necessarily result in a giant underclass of miserable debtors and a tiny upperclass of paranoid creditors. There's no way around this. You can't have a billionaire without thousands of destitute or precarious workers. Most people will respond to this prospect either by suppressing the thought, and putting their blinders up to the world, or by carving out something that lets them feel like part of the owning class - but it's always an illusion. You may find it useful to talk to coworkers on their level, without hitting them all at once with the harsh truth that they function as wage/debt slaves.
If you have a project of popular liberation that you can work on, you can keep your eyes on that prize. It's way more worthwhile in the long run than defeatism or escapism.
Well shit I just read a bunch of dry economic texts and largely agreed with their conclusions
That's quite good. But the economic theory doesn't make value judgments; you still had the empathy to make those yourself.
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The physical strength as an opposing form of power to economic strength is a concept that is baffling to me. Hasn't economic strength always been enforced by physical strength you literally can't have economic strength if your ownership is not enforced
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When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace - Jimi Hendrix