I'm not knowledgeable enough to answer your question, but I just wanted to share my experience with coming to terms with masculinity.
I'm a cis male who has struggled with being "manly". I'm super sensitive, empathetic, and have never been someone who needed to compete or exert dominance. I also like feeling cute, hugging my friends, smelling nice, and expressing my emotions.
Even though I'm straight, I've had at least a dozen people ask me if I'm gay over the course of my life. At first this really upset and confused me, and I tried changing behaviors that would give people that idea. I've had women and men both call me girly, or a "b*tch", or soft. It really sucked the few times I'd meet a girl who's interested in me, only to have her dip out after a couple hangouts because I wasn't "manly" enough.
After realizing that gender is a spectrum and a social construct, it helped me break free from all of that pain. When people label me as soft, gay, girly, overly-sensitive, etc - that's more of a reflection on them than it is me. After letting go of my preconceived notions of manliness, I have gained so much more comfort and confidence in myself. People who can't accept that I'm not a dude bro don't need to take up any space in my life, because there are plenty of people who accept me for who I am, and I love those people.
I’m a cis male who has struggled with being “manly”. I’m super sensitive, empathetic, and have never been someone who needed to compete or exert dominance. I also like feeling cute, hugging my friends, smelling nice, and expressing my emotions.
Yeah, with you there. Struggle a bit with the expressing emotions part though, but I'm learning :)
Even though I’m straight, I’ve had at least a dozen people ask me if I’m gay over the course of my life. At first this really upset and confused me, and I tried changing behaviors that would give people that idea. I’ve had women and men both call me girly, or a “b*tch”, or soft. It really sucked the few times I’d meet a girl who’s interested in me, only to have her dip out after a couple hangouts because I wasn’t “manly” enough.
Sorry to hear that, that sucks :meow-hug:
After letting go of my preconceived notions of manliness, I have gained so much more comfort and confidence in myself. People who can’t accept that I’m not a dude bro don’t need to take up any space in my life, because there are plenty of people who accept me for who I am, and I love those people.
Exact revelation I've been having today :meow-tankie:
I'm really happy for your newfound clarity! Life gets just a little bit easier when you're comfortable in your identity and who you are as a person. I'm still working on it myself, but I feel so much better about myself than I did a couple years ago.
I'm not knowledgeable enough to answer your question, but I just wanted to share my experience with coming to terms with masculinity.
I'm a cis male who has struggled with being "manly". I'm super sensitive, empathetic, and have never been someone who needed to compete or exert dominance. I also like feeling cute, hugging my friends, smelling nice, and expressing my emotions.
Even though I'm straight, I've had at least a dozen people ask me if I'm gay over the course of my life. At first this really upset and confused me, and I tried changing behaviors that would give people that idea. I've had women and men both call me girly, or a "b*tch", or soft. It really sucked the few times I'd meet a girl who's interested in me, only to have her dip out after a couple hangouts because I wasn't "manly" enough.
After realizing that gender is a spectrum and a social construct, it helped me break free from all of that pain. When people label me as soft, gay, girly, overly-sensitive, etc - that's more of a reflection on them than it is me. After letting go of my preconceived notions of manliness, I have gained so much more comfort and confidence in myself. People who can't accept that I'm not a dude bro don't need to take up any space in my life, because there are plenty of people who accept me for who I am, and I love those people.
Yeah, with you there. Struggle a bit with the expressing emotions part though, but I'm learning :)
Sorry to hear that, that sucks :meow-hug:
Exact revelation I've been having today :meow-tankie:
I'm really happy for your newfound clarity! Life gets just a little bit easier when you're comfortable in your identity and who you are as a person. I'm still working on it myself, but I feel so much better about myself than I did a couple years ago.
Well, in my opinion you don't need to worry about being comfortable or accepted, if you're always like this IRL :meow-hug:
D'aww, stahp it! :hyperflush: