Well, it’s never fun. I don’t like it either. It doesn’t feel like the end of the world to me tho like it used to. I don’t like to be rejected, but I’m calloused to it now. It doesn’t hurt me now nearly as much as it did when I was 17. I honestly think that getting a few rejections can work well as a form of exposure therapy. Having past successes help also, because it gives you the knowledge that “Ok well, [ex-gf1] and [ex-gf2] both dated me for months, so obviously I can get a gf, I just need to wade thru the rejections until I get a find a lady I click with."

Well, no successes here yet. And I'm a bit past the 'end of the world' stage. So bring on the exposure therapy I say.

IMO, for a first date, coffee is fine. Just say like “Hey, you free this weekend? let’s go out on a date and have lunch/a coffee/a beer at [place].” I always use the word “date” because I think it’s better to be direct and up front about what you want. I don’t say ‘let’s hang out’ or whatever when I actually want to have a mutually respectful romantic encounter.

Well, that's the one I've using so far in college, so I'll keep using it I guess

Personally, I am not touch averse. I use touch to show affection. I like to receive touch. I’m a hugger. I hug my male, platonic buddies after a hang out and have no qualms about putting my arm around my best bros or even sharing one of these . I also like to touch the lady I’m dating. If your date is fine with it and you are also fine with it, why would it be bad? Some women like it, some do not. Generally you can tell by paying attention to those aforementioned hints. If its unclear, I see no problem with literally just straight up asking “hey, is this okay?” or whatever. You start with some small, subtle, casual touch, (brief touch on the wrist, hand or shoulder) if she responds positively (doesn’t give the ‘stop’ hints), there’s no problem with more touching, is there? And again, if its unclear (it usually is not to me, if I pay attention to the signs) , I can literally just ask directly.

Well, those signs are usually very unclear to me, so I'm glad asking isn't looked down upon, as I'll be doing that a lot.

Your first date goes well and you’re walking from the cafe to the frozen yogurt place down the road for desert? I see no problem with putting my arm around her waist, as long as she’s fine with it, where’s the problem? This is 2021, people out here literally fucking someone who’s name they don’t even know.

Forgive me for being... A novice, but I don't think I could never be bold enough to do the arm around the waist on a first date I'm sorry :crush:

And when I said taking rejection as an indictment of myself... I meant my self-worth or overall attractiveness.

But it is good to know I'm not being seen as a sex pest if I do get a "no"