You might be noticing that a pound of tomatoes costs 10 dollars at the grocery store or that you’re paying 8 dollars for a Bounty roll. While I know that my fellow proles tend to have a heightened sense of anxiety about economic forces which they do not understand, please keep into consideration that the inflation rate is only 7%.

That’s right, it’s mostly in your heads! Like, yes, subsidized milk and cigarette butts are the only things that are considered in the basket of goods model, but that doesn’t negate the fact that the current ‘inflation’ that we’re seeing is very healthy for the economy. What explains the marginal increase in food prices? Well, you see, there’s a big boat stuck in the Suez canal that has all of our pink hair dyes and beans, and the truckers who on break because they’re lazy are not delivering. Once this gets fixed prices will jump back down because of supply and demand.