Holiday season slowed down progress again, but the series is finally back, in time for the New Year!
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter, however, they may not be as extensive as one might provide on here. This time we are doing Chapter 5, on male sexuality, which I am rather excited for.
Discuss-
-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?
Previous Chapter Discussions
Chapter 1 discussion
Chapters 2 and 3 discussion
Chapter 4 discussion
Chapter Four (the song)
The idea of confusion between sexual-desire and emotional-desire really stood out to me. That men are taught that they need their sexual desires fulfilled, but in reality they have emotional needs that are not met. There was a long period in my life when I thought I was being a real bad-ass by compartmentalizing the two, and I’ve been much happier once I realized the connection. And man, if I had found this book when I was in my late teens/ early 20s I could have been a lot happier with my partners.
Some aspects of this chapter seemed dated to me? I think pornography has developed more diversity beyond patriarchal force- it may still have toxic narratives though. It reminded me of Liz Lemon asking Judah Friedlander what her date wants and he replies “like a porno.”