So my dad got me The Daily Stoic for Christmas this year. We have had a shit relationship for a long time and he recently got into therapy (which is good). I just feel like this thing is mindfulness for bros. Most of that is probably me knowing of modern stoicism (or grifters making a buck saying they're stoic) seeming to be red pill or day trader bros. I've made it to day 4 and I can't stand it anymore. This is the most basic 3Cs of recovery stufd and basic mindfulness. Also I might have looked to Google to justify my options that it's just a toxic male / bro coping mechanism, but this seems like a fucking grift for shitty people who are trying to be better but still aren't down/get it.

I already learned all of this Jinkx Monsoon

P.S. I haven't come out to that side of the family yet as genderqueer and my dad and grandpa kept making jokes that pissed me off. Possibly some misplaced anger

  • Palacegalleryratio [he/him]
    ·
    10 months ago

    Stoicism at its most reductive is the goal of improving what things you can influence, and relieving yourself from the emotional burden of the things you can’t influence.

    Now that can be a useful tool and for a lot of people there are lessons to learn from it. If for instance you get road rage at another driver, stoicism would tell you, that you cannot influence that other drivers behaviour or driving ability, so you should release the anger you hold towards them, and instead work on what you can influence I.e. your own driving technique to drive leaving a bigger gap, better anticipate other road users etc to avoid the situation in the future. That would be great advice, it will improve your state of mind, mood and your driving.

    There you are, I’ve saved you reading the book lol.

    However stoicism is good for maintaining the status quo, because it concentrates on acceptance of external events which can lead to political apathy. Rather than challenging the systems that create your material conditions that are the cause of your ails. It doesn’t have to be that way, but a lot of modern stoicism is right wing rugged individualism accept the status quo and don’t get so upset about the world (and its injustices). “We’re destroying the planet and doing genocide, but you personally can’t change that so why are you so emotional?” That’s my main beef with it. I think it’s a practical way of dealing with everyday annoyances, but not good for tackling systemic issues as it can promote a tragedy of the commons.

    Though I will say it could be considered a good call to action. Stop whinging on the internet about problems (I.e. having emotions about something you aren’t influencing), go out and do something about it! (I.e. Actually influence the thing)

    • Edgarallenpwn [they/them]@midwest.social
      ·
      10 months ago

      Thank you for saving me from reading the rest of it. I feeI like i got the point already. It's just really weird to me that my dad suddenly went into therapy dad mode so fast after being the most emotionally distant person for so long. I'm trying to not complain and embrace it but it is a huge shock to me and our relationship.

      I'm trying to not shit on the book that much either since it is helping him, but it seems like basic stuff I learned 10 years ago from my own therapy. I mean if it works for him that's great but I think I am mad that my dad gave me a self help book about stuff I have been practicing because of his actions. Also some negative feelings lingering from Christmas dinner talk.