I think... People, due to the alienation mentioned by u/replaceabe, are so disconnected from themselves that they end up searching for and then placing their own value and worth in a romantic partner. If that partner values them and sees their worth (since no one else does), then they can feel valuable and worthy within themselves. The thing is, that partner, another person is inherently their own agent and not under their partner's control. So it becomes a situation where one person wraps all their value and worth up in something (someone) they have no control over. So a lot of people will then try to maintain that control over their partner as a way of maintaing that control over their own sense of self-worth, which can manifest all sorts of ways, usually not good ones of course, things that involve coercion or manipulation. It's also possible to let go of that control and find peace in trusting a partner to always value them.
Imo the ideal way to go is not to wrap one's value and worth up in someone else in the first place. But that's easier said than done, especially in such an alienating culture that devalues everyone and makes them think their worth is external to themselves. Could be, anyway, that's my guess.
Who said anything about existing independently of anyone else? Whether you're around other people or not, you as an individual human being, a conscious and sentient entity that experiences existence, have inherent value. And that value is not dependent upon those around you.
I think... People, due to the alienation mentioned by u/replaceabe, are so disconnected from themselves that they end up searching for and then placing their own value and worth in a romantic partner. If that partner values them and sees their worth (since no one else does), then they can feel valuable and worthy within themselves. The thing is, that partner, another person is inherently their own agent and not under their partner's control. So it becomes a situation where one person wraps all their value and worth up in something (someone) they have no control over. So a lot of people will then try to maintain that control over their partner as a way of maintaing that control over their own sense of self-worth, which can manifest all sorts of ways, usually not good ones of course, things that involve coercion or manipulation. It's also possible to let go of that control and find peace in trusting a partner to always value them.
Imo the ideal way to go is not to wrap one's value and worth up in someone else in the first place. But that's easier said than done, especially in such an alienating culture that devalues everyone and makes them think their worth is external to themselves. Could be, anyway, that's my guess.
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Totally disagree. A person can and should feel they have value, if only to their own self completely independent of anyone else.
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Who said anything about existing independently of anyone else? Whether you're around other people or not, you as an individual human being, a conscious and sentient entity that experiences existence, have inherent value. And that value is not dependent upon those around you.
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