1 As everyone here except the wreckers know, adult life within our competitive hellworld sucks. Workplaces (especially white collar ones) aren't necessarily areas where a human can develop a sense of community and human connection, as one is often pitted against their fellow coworkers in a cold war for a higher paygrade for longer and longer ours. Furthermore, a person is subject to the constant stress of neoliberal management policies, as outlined by Mark Fisher, leaving the individual in a constant state of anxiety both at work and increasingly at home due to the reach of shitty managers on the phone. Due to this, it is exceedingly difficult to create or maintain any meaningful connections with other people before, during, and after work, when the average person is usually too fucking exhausted to do jack shit except sleep due to factors such as long commute times, household chores, family commitments etc. This creates a situation where individuals are isolated from each other irl. (People who for whatever reason have a sense of community within their neighborhood/nearby living area are an exception to this.)
2 Even if one has friends and/or family, the demons of toxic masculinity rear their head. "Weakness", and all of its manifestations (Crying, exhaustion, depression, mental instability, being overwhelmed, a desire of emotional connection, hugging, etc.) are all sinful acts. Thus, expressing "weakness" is often ridiculed, trivialized, and ignored among people. Unfortunately, expressions of all of the above are necessary for psychological wellbeing, and without an outlet, will cause a degree of psychological damage. Men have to be strong workers for the elite, after all.
3 Furthermore, due to the highly competitive, anti-human nature of late capitalist society, it is difficult to develop a strong sense of internal self-worth. The central socioeconomic dogma states that an individual's worth as a human being is determined by how much money they have, how much "value" they add to a company, and how well the conform to social norms especially in the face of other people. All external to what an individual themselves thinks, but all enforced through material ways such as job interviews, rent, means testing, etc. One of the social norms also happens to be having a partner (this isn't has hard-wired as the first two though).
And, often, this is all there is.
As Mark Fisher pointed out, we :joker-gaming: where there is no such thing as society. Neoliberalism has eaten, digested, and shat out with a price of $99.99 any and all forms of resistance and counterhegemony, leaving us all in this "post-ideological" desert, there is no alternative. Therefore, there is no common alternative to other conceptions of self-esteem/self-worth. And, of course, its a shitty, disgusting, anti-human way of measuring one's self-worth.
So, take the three variables outlined above;
Lack of community.
Toxic Masculinity.
Lack of spiritually robust forms of self-worth.
And the picture becomes clearer.
For a socially alienated cishet male subject of neoliberalism, their partner is often the only one who they can be vulnerable around, share tears, laughter, hugs, and talk earnestly with.
As a result, the loss of such a partner is a terrifying thing because:
It means nobody is there by your side in the desert of social alienation.
You have nobody else to be vulnerable around.
You have failed your duties as a man, they are gone off to find someone better, possibly someone richer, shame on you etc. etc.
Thank you for attending my TedX talk, get the blood boy, I demand my complementary adrenochrome for my labors.
The answer is simple (for cishet males at least).
Profound Alienation
1 As everyone here except the wreckers know, adult life within our competitive hellworld sucks. Workplaces (especially white collar ones) aren't necessarily areas where a human can develop a sense of community and human connection, as one is often pitted against their fellow coworkers in a cold war for a higher paygrade for longer and longer ours. Furthermore, a person is subject to the constant stress of neoliberal management policies, as outlined by Mark Fisher, leaving the individual in a constant state of anxiety both at work and increasingly at home due to the reach of shitty managers on the phone. Due to this, it is exceedingly difficult to create or maintain any meaningful connections with other people before, during, and after work, when the average person is usually too fucking exhausted to do jack shit except sleep due to factors such as long commute times, household chores, family commitments etc. This creates a situation where individuals are isolated from each other irl. (People who for whatever reason have a sense of community within their neighborhood/nearby living area are an exception to this.)
2 Even if one has friends and/or family, the demons of toxic masculinity rear their head. "Weakness", and all of its manifestations (Crying, exhaustion, depression, mental instability, being overwhelmed, a desire of emotional connection, hugging, etc.) are all sinful acts. Thus, expressing "weakness" is often ridiculed, trivialized, and ignored among people. Unfortunately, expressions of all of the above are necessary for psychological wellbeing, and without an outlet, will cause a degree of psychological damage. Men have to be strong workers for the elite, after all.
3 Furthermore, due to the highly competitive, anti-human nature of late capitalist society, it is difficult to develop a strong sense of internal self-worth. The central socioeconomic dogma states that an individual's worth as a human being is determined by how much money they have, how much "value" they add to a company, and how well the conform to social norms especially in the face of other people. All external to what an individual themselves thinks, but all enforced through material ways such as job interviews, rent, means testing, etc. One of the social norms also happens to be having a partner (this isn't has hard-wired as the first two though).
And, often, this is all there is.
As Mark Fisher pointed out, we :joker-gaming: where there is no such thing as society. Neoliberalism has eaten, digested, and shat out with a price of $99.99 any and all forms of resistance and counterhegemony, leaving us all in this "post-ideological" desert, there is no alternative. Therefore, there is no common alternative to other conceptions of self-esteem/self-worth. And, of course, its a shitty, disgusting, anti-human way of measuring one's self-worth.
So, take the three variables outlined above;
And the picture becomes clearer.
For a socially alienated cishet male subject of neoliberalism, their partner is often the only one who they can be vulnerable around, share tears, laughter, hugs, and talk earnestly with.
As a result, the loss of such a partner is a terrifying thing because:
Thank you for attending my TedX talk, get the blood boy, I demand my complementary adrenochrome for my labors.
Citations:
:zizek: :baby-matt: (we need a mark fisher emote)
Interesting points here. I will provide you with adrenochrome from my firstborn child as payment
thanks jack better make sure he's greek :biden-nibble:
A very good write up
good shit