It’s actually a mediation on the flawed nature of adaption, it’s perceived low quality is actually it’s greatest strength as it’s asking “what is a terrible live action version of an anime anyway?” It’s trying to tell us that inherently adaption is a barren wasteland for creatives in which all the stories are already told, all decisions already made, thus rendering them a mere perfunctory gesture in which capitalists try and re-mortgage their existing properties, as it were, cash in again on the same ideas without having to rely on anyone to have a new or novel approach to similar material that might require further investment on their part. The genius of the adaption is that from the moment it starts you’re asking “why?” And by the time Edward shows up you are no longer around to see it having hung yourself from the light fitting by jumping down from the coffee table, snapping your neck in the process, the ghostly dance of shadows cascading across the otherwise empty room and onto your slowly oscillating corpse. By the time Netflix thinks to ask if you’re still there, you are long gone.

Five stars.