Now that I’ve caught you with the clickbait title,

Basically every post has included some form of toxic self-hate, minus one or two mentioning exercise. While I do like being able to confront these in the first place, the purported goals and name of this community gives people who are giving the exact wrong advice far too much credibility, and the last thing these people need is a comment with the most upbears regurgitating individualistic self-help concepts at them.

If we’re going to keep this sort of community around, I suggest doing some serious research and basing it off of DBT, and integrating serious critiques of CBT style mental healthcare and improvement.

I am just some random nerd who is terrible at self-improvement at general, so I understand taking this with some serious doubt. But I just had to get this off my chest.

Thank you, WithoutFurtherBelay

  • material_delinquent
    ·
    11 months ago

    If this comm was done by anybody but you, I would not have interacted at all with this comm. We could also yell at fashion, fitness and many many other communities with very similar arguments. Is there a MD running the covid comm?

    i do think some issues were out of the comm's depth and should have been moderated. But the sidebar makes it clear that you are not getting experts' opinions for serious issues.

    To be able to do revolutionary behaviour, you must go through the self.

    I can't wait for the revolution to reduce behaviour that is damaging to me. No political group can run a rehab program alongside taking on hegemony. Some have tried. No one can not play computer games for me. What an anonymous online group can do is providing limited emotional support.

    Also, I acknowledge that I am incredibly priviledged to be able to address my minor habits and addictions. I want to put the time I gain back by this to good use and help other people or become more knowledgeable, not to flex my "discipline" (which consisted in being afraid of embarrassing myself in front of online acquaintances in no small degrees).

    Finally, and this goes out to everybody reading this, interactions on Hexbear have become increasingly grating and the tone feels hostile. Maybe I am out of line here but I would appreciate a more constructive tone and way of discussion in general. Nobody needs to prove they are the smartest of them all and yell the loudest.

    • SeventyTwoTrillion [he/him]M
      ·
      11 months ago

      If this comm was done by anybody but you, I would not have interacted at all with this comm

      That's very nice of you, thank you.

      Apologies for me perhaps not understanding the tone, but are you agreeing with me, disagreeing with me, or putting a series of points down that both agree and disagree? I also will freely admit that I am no expert, but trying to find an "expert" in this sort of thing who isn't a reactionary or actually busy doing their own job as a therapist or psychologist or whatever is like trying to find a needle in a planet-sized haystack. As Frank and WithoutFurtherBelay have said, bell hooks is the only person that I know of who is trying to weld together revolutionary politics and "improvement" (though, obviously and correctly, is framed towards community improvement as otherwise it can easily become narcissistic).

      interactions on Hexbear have become increasingly grating and the tone feels hostile. Maybe I am out of line here but I would appreciate a more constructive tone and way of discussion in general. Nobody needs to prove they are the smartest of them all and yell the loudest.

      Nakiochi had a recent post about this, and I of course agree. I think there's generally a tendency (throughout most people who pay attention to news/politics, across society) to be the Most Bestest Politics and Geopolitics And Military Understander And If I Have A Single Bad Take Or Admit That I Don't Know Something Then That Is An Admission Of Defeat. Sometimes I fall into that paradigm but I do try and make an active effort to just admit that I don't know shit sometimes and need advice or a second opinion. I kinda loathe irony-poisoning after having it for so long.

      • material_delinquent
        ·
        11 months ago

        agreeing. The demand for "experts" is not a serious criticism. The community needs to read things, but it's one week old and running on honeymoon fuel. Panicking about having a den of reaction on hexbear is a bit much rn

        We should limit the scope of communities, as the sidebar sets out to do, instead of trying something a shitposting reddit-upgrade (with a good but small user base) will not be able to achieve. I am saying some discussions should have been intervened in earlier - a point where I guess I am agreeing with OP.

        • WithoutFurtherBelay
          ·
          11 months ago

          I wasn’t suggesting we have actual experts, just we need more people to read theory, like always