Now that I’ve caught you with the clickbait title,
Basically every post has included some form of toxic self-hate, minus one or two mentioning exercise. While I do like being able to confront these in the first place, the purported goals and name of this community gives people who are giving the exact wrong advice far too much credibility, and the last thing these people need is a comment with the most upbears regurgitating individualistic self-help concepts at them.
If we’re going to keep this sort of community around, I suggest doing some serious research and basing it off of DBT, and integrating serious critiques of CBT style mental healthcare and improvement.
I am just some random nerd who is terrible at self-improvement at general, so I understand taking this with some serious doubt. But I just had to get this off my chest.
Thank you, WithoutFurtherBelay
Basically every post has included some form of toxic self-hate, minus one or two mentioning exercise. While I do like being able to confront these in the first place, the purported goals and name of this community gives people who are giving the exact wrong advice far too much credibility, and the last thing these people need is a comment with the most upbears regurgitating individualistic self-help concepts at them.
If we’re going to keep this sort of community around, I suggest doing some serious research and basing it off of DBT, and integrating serious critiques of CBT style mental healthcare and improvement.
This is literally the exact reason I made this comm. You can call it "revolutionary_behavior" or "how_to_be_a_better_communist" or "flurgle_bungle", the name of the thing doesn't change its character. To be able to do revolutionary behaviour, you must go through the self. There's no way to interact with the world other than through your own actions. Communities are made up of a lot of individual people, ideally all pulling in one direction. A community where all of those people eat healthy and vegan diets will be better than one where they do not. In the absence of a state-driven or society-driven initiative to propel these changes on a big, structural level rather than the individual level, we don't really have much choice but to take things into our own hands, at least in much of the imperial core where such large projects are generally anathema. Positive routines and good habits are important to establish, regardless of the framework in which you are doing them. Eating healthily and becoming fit is fairly necessary to be able to outrun cops or, if it comes to it, do a Long March. Your own eyes must read books (or listen to others) to learn information about how to organize a revolution.
It might be self-improvement, but you're not really doing it for the self, you're doing it so you can be a better and more effective revolutionary, and when these revolutionaries are combined, they can change the country they're living in and ultimately the world. Obviously if you don't believe in vanguards then your mileage may vary.
I don't want to cede the "self-help" or "self-improvement" ground to the right-wing by uttering the talismanic phrase "Organize your community and unionize" when like, you're not even approaching a mental or physical state where you could attempt to do that. I want to create a new ground, call it "self-improvement", and then use communist framings of those ideas that are actually helpful. I am monumentally sceptical of the monolith of self-help bullshit that has been spewed out over the last few decades and think 99% of it is useless garbage invented by CEOs who don't do any actual work, and grifters who are just trying to sell a product. There is no real salvation through the pathway of "merely become more disciplined and read five books a month titled like 'The 50-1 Method: How To Become A Better Boss." But like, going on daily walks and shit does actually help me and others, exercise makes me feel better, dressing nicely makes me feel more attractive, etc. We should take what is salvageable and ditch what is not.
I completely support your effort to get DBT in here over CBT, and other such methods that are disconnected from that massive tsunami of grift that is the modern self-improvement community.
If this comm was done by anybody but you, I would not have interacted at all with this comm. We could also yell at fashion, fitness and many many other communities with very similar arguments. Is there a MD running the covid comm?
i do think some issues were out of the comm's depth and should have been moderated. But the sidebar makes it clear that you are not getting experts' opinions for serious issues.
To be able to do revolutionary behaviour, you must go through the self.
I can't wait for the revolution to reduce behaviour that is damaging to me. No political group can run a rehab program alongside taking on hegemony. Some have tried. No one can not play computer games for me. What an anonymous online group can do is providing limited emotional support.
Also, I acknowledge that I am incredibly priviledged to be able to address my minor habits and addictions. I want to put the time I gain back by this to good use and help other people or become more knowledgeable, not to flex my "discipline" (which consisted in being afraid of embarrassing myself in front of online acquaintances in no small degrees).
Finally, and this goes out to everybody reading this, interactions on Hexbear have become increasingly grating and the tone feels hostile. Maybe I am out of line here but I would appreciate a more constructive tone and way of discussion in general. Nobody needs to prove they are the smartest of them all and yell the loudest.
If this comm was done by anybody but you, I would not have interacted at all with this comm
That's very nice of you, thank you.
Apologies for me perhaps not understanding the tone, but are you agreeing with me, disagreeing with me, or putting a series of points down that both agree and disagree? I also will freely admit that I am no expert, but trying to find an "expert" in this sort of thing who isn't a reactionary or actually busy doing their own job as a therapist or psychologist or whatever is like trying to find a needle in a planet-sized haystack. As Frank and WithoutFurtherBelay have said, bell hooks is the only person that I know of who is trying to weld together revolutionary politics and "improvement" (though, obviously and correctly, is framed towards community improvement as otherwise it can easily become narcissistic).
interactions on Hexbear have become increasingly grating and the tone feels hostile. Maybe I am out of line here but I would appreciate a more constructive tone and way of discussion in general. Nobody needs to prove they are the smartest of them all and yell the loudest.
Nakiochi had a recent post about this, and I of course agree. I think there's generally a tendency (throughout most people who pay attention to news/politics, across society) to be the Most Bestest Politics and Geopolitics And Military Understander And If I Have A Single Bad Take Or Admit That I Don't Know Something Then That Is An Admission Of Defeat. Sometimes I fall into that paradigm but I do try and make an active effort to just admit that I don't know shit sometimes and need advice or a second opinion. I kinda loathe irony-poisoning after having it for so long.
agreeing. The demand for "experts" is not a serious criticism. The community needs to read things, but it's one week old and running on honeymoon fuel. Panicking about having a den of reaction on hexbear is a bit much rn
We should limit the scope of communities, as the sidebar sets out to do, instead of trying something a shitposting reddit-upgrade (with a good but small user base) will not be able to achieve. I am saying some discussions should have been intervened in earlier - a point where I guess I am agreeing with OP.
I wasn’t suggesting we have actual experts, just we need more people to read theory, like always
Communities are made up of a lot of individual people, ideally all pulling in one direction. A community where all of those people eat healthy and vegan diets will be better than one where they do not. In the absence of a state-driven or society-driven initiative to propel these changes on a big, structural level rather than the individual level, we don't really have much choice but to take things into our own hands, at least in much of the imperial core where such large projects are generally anathema.
Under no circumstances am I disagreeing with this. What I do think is that the way we approach these things is inherently all kinds of brainworm riddled, and the concept of self improvement strikes into the very core of the ideology a lot of us grow up in. When someone says “self-improvement”, tons of lib shit just starts spawning in people’s heads that they wouldn’t believe or say about any other situation. This isn’t a diss on you or the concept of improving oneself for our community (though the “for our community” part is something I find… kind of
but as prospective revolutionaries it’s what we should be doing, at least for now. And I can’t think of a better model, to be honest), it’s a call for people to be extremely careful about how they think about the concept of self improvement in the first place.It seems you already agree with me on a ton of stuff, so all I really need to say is that I don’t actually care that much about replacing the comm. I trust you know what you’re doing here and I doubt it would be much of an issue if we’re otherwise careful, and it gives us the opportunity to reclaim self improvement as a term, like I think you intend.
I suggest doing some serious research on CBT
collectivist ball torture
If were doing a struggle session on how this comm will look and work, I see some of you confusing your doomerism/self-hatred/personal failings for criticism of doing good things for yourself and neoliberal ideology.
Also its not one or the other thing, both criticizing self-improvement quackery and pushing yourself to do better in your own paradigm are valid
We as leftists and we as a community strive for the later earnestly
But this is exactly what I want! That’s a clear, actionable thing people can give clear, actionable advice on. People posting about how lazy they are or how they feel immature is NOT that, though it at least gives us the opportunity to tell them that’s not really an issue.
i think people posting about how they're lazy/immature is valid because some people do need to analyze why theyre lazy/immature or need assistance reaching conclusions.
I guess, but there needs to be some intense clarification that the issue is something other than them being “lazy”
Welp it looks like we have run into the dialectical paradox of needing to practice self-acceptance in order to change our lives. A real DBT both/and moment.
It’s actually quite simple
if you perceive everything bad about you as part of a dialectical network of cause and effect, rather than solely your fault, then you do not have to “admit” or believe in your own inferiority in order to enact changeUnironically I love this shit and have nothing but time for it. What a great alternative to years of internal torture.
i'm seeing this post now, after posting below, and this is a clarification i was seeking.
yes this is positive and agreeable.
Agree. The California Self-Help paradigm tends to be individualist, lacking or opposed to materialism, and focused on concepts like "willpower" and "discipline" that modern studies in to human behavior suggest are questionable at best.
Historically, the concept of "Self Help" that we're most familiar grew out of New Age movements centered in California after the hippie orientalism of the 60s and early 70s collapsed. There were many ealier, both modern and ancient, ideas about improving the self. Many of these, like the old rennaisance Italian concept of Virtue, or the modern Pashtun concept of Pashtunwali, have strong social and community components as well as individual aspects. The point isn't just self-actualization, but rather becoming what is expected of you in community (which, depending on the culture, might involve some pretty toxic stuff).
But, point is, the American self-help concept is often very individualistic and anti-materialist and should be approached with great caution. It also infiltrates western concepts of psychological therapy to some degree, with many therapists focusing far too much on the individual and not being able to really place the individual in a community.
Stuff like, idk, bell hooks, steps outside that paradigm with a much more community oriented analysis of life in the modern west. For men, men-ish, and amab people, for instance, bell really digs in to how western masculinity is a whole process men+ are forced to learn under threat of violence, and how un-making that harmful masculinity is a process that requires a community. She's real smart and worth reading.
There's a lot of other stuff you can look to; Old world manuals on how to be a warrior and a good citizen, which are often very different from the Prussian militarism and 20th century Fascism we're familiar with. Lots of old manuals on civic duty and shit. You have to discard a lot of bad stuff about violent, reactive honor, but there's some good stuff to find too. Likewise, there's real value in breaking down why and how we're alienated and oppressed in society. I find it extremely helpful to be able to recognize when my problems and limitations are the result of social and economic violence, or the result of biomedical problems like ADHD, so I can separate those issues over which I have limited control from notions of "poor character" or "laziness".
Edit: Also, ROWING! Hexbear trireme club when?
The California Self-Help paradigm
Wait, the whuh-huh? There's a specific term for this stuff?
Idk if that's what academics call it, but there's a whole history to this in the us that starts more or less with hippies doing "eastern philosophy" for individualistic self help purposes, ties in to cults in the seventies, morphed in to self help books, late night tv ads selling supplements and fitness videos, all kinds of fad diets, more weird cults. And in the last few years it's been sigma dorks, insta influencers selling supplmenets, all that. Self help and adjacent stuff like protein supplements and weight loss and all kinds of mystical toxin cleansing bs are a pretty big industry in the us, i think a few billion. I don't have any specific reading for it, i've kind of pieced it together from a bunch of articles over the years, and also living through a lot of it since the 90s.
Oh yeah, the ideology that ranges from “Self-Actualization Magic” at its most obviously fake to “Go To Therapy” At it’s most insidious
Yeah. And since therapy is barely regulated in the us there are tons of quakcs there, too. It's kind of a mess to negotiate.
What's insidious about suggesting people go to therapy if they have the means?
Reading this again I think it’s interesting there doesn’t seem to be any active effort besides someone like bell hooks in making a conception of self improvement that moves beyond both a conformist perspective and an individualistic perspective. I swear bell hooks is the only person I’ve ever heard of who’s even somewhat attempted to meld the revolutionary mindset with “improving oneself”.
I do think there is also something to be said about how old manuals like those on honor or virtue are toxic in their own way. They presumably would also have their own simplistic explanations for why people don’t act “optimally”, and therefore their own toxic regimens to “fix that”: Think Stoics suggesting people basically just change their mind about something being bad whenever they dislike a situation (contrasted, of course, with Epicureans that just assume people enjoy horrific things because why wouldn’t they 4head?). I haven’t read any of those old manuals, and I’ve already been burnt today already despite how early it is for me on not reading into subjects, so I could be completely wrong.
I’m tempted to think the main issue with most self-help or improvement is that it assumes a significant amount of agency on the reader, that they have immense power over themselves , even though their behavior is also heavily influenced by their environment. Or to put it in way more blatant terms, there doesn’t seem to have been a seriously materialistic approach to achieving one’s goals made yet, besides the abstract, wide ranging goal of Communism.
I believe unironically that any example of laziness or poor character implies an unexamined systemic or medical issue. Granted, it could be an issue we are physically incapable of even identifying with our current level of understanding, but saying that it’s just a case of Poor Character implies it comes from literally nowhere which makes no sense
I do think there is also something to be said about how old manuals like those on honor or virtue are toxic in their own way.
Strong agree. You have to wade in with an established set of beliefs and at least some kind of understanding of the bs of the time to sort through all the horrible stuff and find the good bits.
I haven’t read any of those old manuals, and I’ve already been burnt today already despite how early it is for me on not reading into subjects, so I could be completely wrong.
Nah, you're right on. A lot of ancient self help stuff is written for aristocratic men who were often expected to be total bastards. So like, advice on how to be resilient and steadfast in the face of hardship can be good sometimes, depending on what they're actually suggesting (I'm a big fan of what I see as a sort of positive, you can't choose your fate but you can choose how to meet i fatalism in Norse mythology), but a lot of it was trying to train men in to do awful things.
I’m tempted to think the main issue with most self-help or improvement is that it assumes a significant amount of agency on the reader, that they have immense power over themselves , even though their behavior is also heavily influenced by their environment. Or to put it in way more blatant terms, there doesn’t seem to have been a seriously materialistic approach to achieving one’s goals made yet, besides the abstract, wide ranging goal of Communism.
Again, strong agree, and it's rare to find ones that get away from that. There's a bunch of sayings I like in, like, the Havamal for instance that are shit like "Look, you need to treat your friends well because without friends someone's going to stab you in the back during a sword fight" or "Take some time to watch what's going on before you give an opinion bc that way you'll have a better grasp of the situation" but they make it sound cool.
I believe unironically that any example of laziness or poor character implies an unexamined systemic or medical issue.
Yeah, again, strong agree. Laziness almost always turns out to be a language barrier, or ADHD, or stress, or whatever. "Laziness" isn't a real thing, it's just a way to justify social and soemtimes physical violence against people who don't conform. Poor character is often more about different cultural expectations or people being judged for neurodivergence or disability.
This is probably something we, like leftists around the world, need to fix. We've got scads more biomedical research to pull from, we know a lot about behaviorialism, like the science and psychology of behavior, we know a lot more about physical exercise, allergies, food, all that stuff factors in to what the olden days were called "Good character". And we've got the last 10,000 years of people trying to puzzle this out on paper to draw from.
I hate to say it, but we do need more role models who kind of have most of their shit together. Otherwise who is going to follow us? We need more people who are at least looking as jacked/healthy as Hasan Piker because yes, the halo effect is real. I hate to say this, but if the only thing people think about when they see leftists is some skinny guy getting decked by a proud boy, we're in big trouble. And yes I hear this shit from normies quite often. I know its propaganda, but it's working.
It depends on the country. The left has a stronger presence in mine and they're mostly known as rural indigenous people or dudes dressed in camo blowing shit up.
acts of spectacular terrorism are self-care
ATTENTION MODS: BIT
i had these same thoughts but was too cowardly to post. seeing someone belittle themselves as 'immature' for being unemployed and living with their parents, or for smoking weed, just reminds me of my own toxic internal monologue loops i work so hard to avoid/ignore/break. its toxic individualistic bourgeois framing of systemic issues. i'm mostly happy with my unemployed stoner life, a little lonely but it works for me. every time i try to get a job and be a real adult i end up having a very embarrasing public mental breakdown. i literally cannot handle the social and psychological stresses involved in most jobs, and frankly its ableist to imply that its just because i'm 'lazy' or 'immature' or 'not a real adult'. when you take fire at yourself, you might hit anyone standing behind you.
yeah a lot of comments sections on here are
centrali was thinking about maybe posting about my issues but it doesn't seem like we're going to generate anything actionable, the support structures i need don't exist, and i don't need dipshits telling me to use willpower i don't have.
if your advice isn't bootstraps or to simply do the thing that I wouldn't be in here asking about if i could do it
Respectfully, I don't want to argue with you or cause you any grief:
What would you be looking for posting here if you already have concluded that you're screwed?
Illogical faith goes a long way with dealing with/overcoming struggle.
Please don't call anyone here dipshits, assume there are good people here.
I agree they shouldn’t call others dipshits, but generally what I think people need is actionable advice. I understand the desire to help, and it’s always good, we just all have to do serious work digging the bootstraps mentality out of our brain
Agreed, or atleast know when they're not helpful or when to just show support/commiseration. I think there's also some degree of you gotta go and do it (it being non-specific towards anyone, im not talking about anyone specifically) and that's truly tough love that some people will need.
When I complain about my music stuff not going well and someone who doesn't know me tells me to just go do it, i literally am already doing it, that's appropriate time to get mad at that kind of advice. i think also recognizing when you're truly at a dead end is an appropriate time to get mad.
I think there's also some degree of you gotta go and do it (it being non-specific towards anyone, im not talking about anyone specifically) and that's truly tough love that some people will need.
You know what’s funny is that this is kind of true, but I think if it needs to be done repeatedly or for something someone clearly wants to do a lot already, it implies a more fundamental blocking factor which I guess is one of my more important points I’m trying to make.
What would you be looking for posting here if you already have concluded that you're screwed?
i dunno maybe somebody has an idea of something to do with permanent burnout after multiple therapists and psychiatric medications failed to treat depression and whatnot. but i haven't seen anything indicating that
Illogical faith goes a long way with dealing with/overcoming struggle.
yeah dog i'll just willfully delude myself into being a functioning neurotypical person, that's definitely reasonable, effective, and physically possible and not the kind of crap that would get you cal-
Please don't call anyone here dipshits,
sure, fine.
assume there are good people here.
we are not immune to the bootstraps propaganda, and the otherwise goodness of people who typically find their way here does not preclude them from reproducing harmful ableism and impossible or useless "advice"
Willfully deluding yourself is a power tool to have, you can't do anything worthwhile without a degree of illogical faith. That's what faith is, not the religious kind but the human experience kind. It's not a magic bullet that makes your life better, it's a useful tool to have.
If you're so impossibly fucked and you know you're going to shit on any and all response then why post here? To take it out on everyone else? Why is that fair to the rest of us?
It doesn't sound like youre really trying to constructively cope with the worst experience a person could have.
yeah dog i'll just willfully delude myself into being a functioning neurotypical person, that's definitely reasonable, effective, and physically possible and not the kind of crap that would get you cal-
🙄
Willfully deluding yourself is a power tool to have, you can't do anything worthwhile without a degree of illogical faith. That's what faith is, not the religious kind but the human experience kind. It's not a magic bullet that makes your life better, it's a useful tool to have.
have you heard of materialism? you should try applying it.
I'm not telling you to base your entire worldview on faith. It's just to have some in your life. The Maoist/Vietnamese/ anyone with a revolutionary spirit had to have some amount of hope that what they were doing to liberate themselves from the imperialists was going to work.
You lack that. It's not hard to get, you can have it too.
I just think that hexbear is not a place where you shit thoughtlessly on people like reddit or facebook comment sections. Considering we're all leftists and are #goodpeople, this place should be different to you and if it's not, maybe leave?
Be the bigger person if it's bad advice or alternatively don't ask an internet forum if you're going to be picky.
i would post anyways, if you're willing. i and many other people do want to help the best we can without
I agree with what you said, i just want to add on something
The fun thing about the hierarchy of needs is Maslow actually made a totally lib version of what he observed from the Blackfoot nation.
https://www.resilience.org/stories/2021-06-18/the-blackfoot-wisdom-that-inspired-maslows-hierarchy/
The First Nations perspective, which makes a lot more sense to me is Self Actualization on the bottom, Community Actualization in the middle, cultural perpetuity at the top
So, becoming/being your best self, enriching your community, and enriching your culture. This is a much less individualist way of looking at things. If you become your best self, you can give yourself to your community. Lib maslow had to add shit like "individual safety" since those aren't a given in colonizer land, but if everyone focused on community actualization - making it safe for everyone, there would be no need for those individual base needs to even be mentioned.
The other thing to note is no one actually treated it like a triangle, it's better expressed as a pie chart of needs
The other thing to note is no one actually treated it like a triangle, it's better expressed as a pie chart of needs
This is very cool, implying that having one unfulfilled need can make it harder to fulfill another regardless of it’s “position” on the “hierarchy”
Of course this comm is full of toxic self-hate. We’re leftists on the internet.
This is very confusing to me. Leftism is the only set of belief systems rooted in reality that has so many “scapegoats” for blame. Why blame yourself for anything? The United States is right there and they’re probably actually, unironically to blame for everything wrong with you (from a health and habit perspective, at least). We should be focused on trying to figure out how to survive despite that rather than shifting blame back on ourselves for absolutely no reason except “accountability”. As if “accountability” for our own health and happiness beyond what people intrinsically have as living beings with the instinct to not suffer is something other than victim blaming.
It seems very silly. Why is most people’s working conception of most neurological issues that someone’s just not “taking accountability” for their happiness? Everyone takes accountability for their happiness, everyone does what they can to be happy. It’s like the one thing I can assume is a universal experience. The actual variation there is in what people can do.
The United States is right there and they’re probably actually, unironically to blame for everything wrong with you
Due to constant US meddling, I have gained weight and lost the will to go to the gym, but through jihad etc etc
(I ran out of steam for this joke, please do not take seriously)
But i actually think like this lol
My isolated uncultured American shithole had made me illiterate in music but through my single-mokey protracted mokeys war against music illiteracy i will overcome and bring prosperity to the region
Yes unironically I think this is a good mindset. It’s not your fault whatsoever that you’re in this situation but you can still do things to make it better, hopefully.
We should be focused on trying to figure out how to survive
But getting rid of habits that are destructive and replacing them with less harmful habits... is trying to survive. Well, trying to survive AND thrive, which i think is better
I agree we shouldn't blame ourselves for failing, i feel like this is like a "we should improve ourselves somewhat" meme and you're going Well, Actually
But getting rid of habits that are destructive and replacing them with less harmful habits... is trying to survive. Well, trying to survive AND thrive, which i think is better
Yes, but what I’m saying isn’t that we shouldn’t be doing that. What I’m saying is that our perspectives on how we do that are all kinds of fucked up and mostly involve willpower and being Smarter and Better because we’re Cool.
i feel like this is like a "we should improve ourselves somewhat" meme and you're going Well, Actually
Yes, because improving oneself is a significantly more inherently suspicious concept than improving society, due to the possibility of reproducing societal beliefs as a process of “improvement”.
"our perspectives on how we do that are all kinds of fucked up and mostly involve willpower and being Smarter and Better because we’re Cool."
Speak for yourself, whole lot of projecting going on here. That's not how i or seemingly how the mods feel about this comm
"Improving oneself is a significantly more inherently suspicious concept than improving society"
So when i post "i want to be in the garden more", a hobby that literally improves my mental health and gives back to the ecosystem, that's suspicious to you? Howso? Should i not be focusing on my happiness at all, milord? I'm but a humble serf that wants to find joy, and that's bad actually?
wanting to smoke less weed is also suspicious to you? Why? i have a clearer head and more energy to do real things (praxis) when i smoke. Why do you have a problem with me doing these minor harm reduction things for myself?
What about my goal of wanting to work out slightly more? Something that gives me energy, helps me sleep better, improve my mental health, and makes it easier to bash the fash?
These are real examples i posted in the self improvement thread, so i'm curious why you have such a problem with these extremely minor, positive things me and others are doing. Why is it sus for someone to want to feel healthier to you? I'm just not following your argument here. I feel like you are responding to self help in general in the west and not the actual people on this comm. I feel like you're assuming people don't want to do any community enrichment or support, which for me and many others isn't true at all.
Also may i remind you that we can't actually post real praxis on here for fear of doxxing, so people have to keep it extremely vague and you may be assuming a lot about what kind of praxis people do?
yeah i agree wanting to grow some beans doesnt necessarily make you abdicate any responsibility to society.
i talk about myself and improving, embarassingly, all day long here and megathread but i don't really write as often about all the things i do for others in my community. i've done a lot of good things too!
i use weed medicinally to treat PTSD, and seeing so many hexbears treat it like its an opiate addiction or alcoholism or something that is obviously problematic is incredibly sus to me, like you would never say the same thing about someone using insulin or taking any other kind of psychiatric drug. idk not to criticize people's individual needs i just think its a toxic framing to assume all weed use is the same as alcoholism. when i don't use weed i sit around in executive dysfunction thinking about [things that would warrant a CW] when i used it for the first time when i was young i was like 'wtf, is it not normal to be constantly anxious and thinking of self-harm? is this what its like for normal people?'
"its a toxic framing to assume all weed use is the same as alcoholism."
I'm definitely not framing it like that, and i don't think the goal of the comm is to judge others, the moderator(s) seem pretty clear that it's you setting your own goals and trying to enact them.
I think weed is good, and it's helped me immensely. i'm just too addicted to it right now. Feeling like i need to smoke every hour isn't good for me personally, i'm unable to do other things i want to do. In a week, I've tapered down from near continuous use to x2 a day on weekdays and x3 on weekends and i feel better. My plan is to cut down to x1 on weekend days and other medicinal uses as needed.
I don't think you using weed the way you're doing it is bad at all, it sounds like harm reduction to me? I think it's wrong in general to assume you know what is best for someone's body. I have addict friends and i don't judge them at all. Taking drugs IS harm reduction compared to raw dogging life if you're in a bad place and not doing well mentally. That's totally okay.
I want to smoke less personally, that doesn't mean i think smoking weed is bad at all. I feel like you might be taking people wanting to change a little personally, but I at least am not judging people who don't want to "self improve". IMO Self improvement is up to the Self anyway. What's best for my body is not the best for others. Self improvement might mean just reading a little more each day for someone who wants to read more. I personally want to feel healthier so i'm taking steps to do so in my body, there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with you using weed for your health either. Just existing is difficult, so i don't think anyone should judge anyone else for how they cope (as long as they aren't harming others, of course!)
My way of coping is to work on things that make myself happier and more resilient, and those are gonna be different for other people. It's all good. I hope you don't feel judged by your weed use, like seriously, it sounds like it's really working for you and you shouldn't take anyone trying to reduce their drug use as a negative indictment on what you need. You need weed (at least right now) and that's fine. Some people are addicted to hard drugs and can't come off them, and that's also fine. Everyone deserves a happy life regardless.
I seriously hope you have a good day. I'm really sorry you're struggling with feeling suicidal. blaze up as much as you want, comrade.
Crab bucket mentality is when I want my comrades to apply materialism to their concepts of self improvement and the more they use materialism to improve themselves the more crab bucket-y it is
i'll bite: what is dbt and why is it better than whatever cbt is?
Dialectical Behavioral therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, respectively.
You don’t even know what they are and instantly want to disregard the entire premise?
You don’t even know what they are and instantly want to disregard the entire premise?
To be fair you should have written out the full words instead of the acronym.
cbt = cock and ball torture
dbt = dialectical balls torture. It's better because it's dialectical which is a Marxist word
DBT = making decisions and changes about oneself and the environment to further one’s goals dialectically
CBT = umm have you considered not being sad about climate change? Lol
fwiw all of my encounters with cognitive behavioral therapy have suggested that it concerns engaging in practices (journaling, breathing exercises, meditation practice, etcetera etcetera etcetera) aimed to develop more healthful and less debilitating patterns of thought, so i'm not really following what you're saying (if i'm affirmatively open to CBT, and i affirmatively engage in such practices, am i not implicitly "making decisions and changes about [myself] . . . to further [my] goals"? i'm not even being shitty or rhetorical: what would it mean to do, whatever we want to call this process or aim --of internal change, directed for our individual/communal/political betterment-- what would it mean, substantively, to do this process "dialectically", or to do this process by "applying materialism"?
would a dialectically-hip comm just entail providing a coda or preface on every request for or provision of advice, clarifying that we are asking for and providing such advice with the acknowledgement that we understand ourselves partly as individuals who enact change on an individual level, but we are seeking to do more and to be able to do more in light of our obligations to our environment/communities, and aren't just trying to sigma-grind and slay pussy? would it be a comm that is just really encouraging and tries to maintain a positive outlook in the answers it provides and receives? cause i'd agree with this, but assumed it was already what was going on.
no, look up what dialectical behavioral theory is
both cbt and DBT would use those practices, too. It’s just that cbt does it with very different goals in mind. Look at DBT on Wikipedia
"Dialectical" just means there's a feedback loop. In fact I'm pretty sure the word "dialectical" is just "dialog" as an adjective.
If you take a dialectical approach to self-improvement, it means you view the problem as a self-reinforcing feedback loop between a person's thinking and behavior and their external situation, rather than blaming everything on their thinking and behavior alone while ignoring where it comes from.
The dialectical treatment approach is to talk to the person to try to understand the feedback loop, then look for points in the loop where intervention is possible, not only in their thinking and behavior but also in their external situation, to yield a gradual improvement over time.
Very disappointed by the advice I received (90% was telling me to dress better, other 10% was telling me to go out to cliched places) the other day when I both did a bit and also revealed a little kernal about myself and wishing to be romanced/pursued someday. It was more about how docile and boring and unromantic and patriarchal women are here, not how I'm UGLY YOU FUCKS. I DRESS WELL WITH FLOWING, CURLING LOCKS.
Anyway, not mad about it, just disappointed.
It was more about how docile and boring and unromantic and patriarchal women are here
it's so funny to be like "I want women to hit on me, but I don't want to change anything about myself and I hate women"
You need to change yourself: i.e. your diaper. Goin' baby mode on my dialectical materialist web forum.
Can't expect people to be good at everything, this is why appointing experts to stuff is good
Support this post proposing a name change to anti_self-help_aktion
When this comm does book club put Laziness Does Not Exist by Price in the top 10 first books, please I beg you.
