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  • Neptium@lemmygrad.ml
    ·
    11 months ago

    I have a very similar background to you.

    I don’t have solutions per se but I realised later on that my lack of interest in my own origin and culture stems from mainly personal trauma and scarce engagement with people from my country.

    Like you, since being taught abroad, it meant that there was no singular nation or country to identify with and I assume, as typical for international kids in the Arabian Peninsula, you’d grow up either in a “international” private school and your high school would end in either IAL or IB.

    This means a severe disconnection and ignorance of your own history and culture. You’d be taught a Eurocentric and often “globalized” (neoliberal) image of both yourself and society at large. I myself was bombarded with notions of “global citizenship” (which was an actual subject you could study).

    A step towards appreciating and recognising my own identity was reading the history of my own country. Understanding what my ancestors been through, understanding the dynamics in which have shaped people before me, and understanding how it affected my self-perception and how I ended up where I am (in this case, West Asia).

    It is not easy. But fortunately for both you and I, we have our work cut out short by being from countries colonized by Anglophones. There is an extensive corpus of books written in English that you are able to engage with dealing with your own culture and country.

    I myself struggle to learn a language - and I envy those who can pick up multiple relatively easily - so I say this as no easy step, but learning your native tongue and it’s nuances and specifities will undoubtedly boost your own “cultural self-confidence” but also allow you to engage with the masses of people where you are from.

    I’ll have to say though that I was able to return to my home country for a few years, and that also helped slowly chipped the alienation I had felt prior.