Nature, one of the premier scientific research publishers, apparently has a fiction section. From what I can tell they're publishing a bunch of short stories by one SR Algernon (who, and contain your shock, moonlights as a sinistral pugilist).
Anyway, this story is a take on the fungal zombie subgenre except it's completely void of wit, creativity, insight, or uniqueness of voice, and I want scientists to just take one damn humanities class so pablum like this doesn't make it to print.
It has almost one character!
He bravely farts out a weak pop science article and then invests in apocalypse mushroom futures so he can live out his retirement dreams of being a smug liberal