Ironically the only way to be a better person and do the right thing is to not beat yourself up for doing the bad thing. Learn the lesson and do your best to avoid the situation that led to you doing the behaviour that you regret. If you're struggling romantically just know that you super aren't alone in that
Also everyone else is lazy and dumb I have never in my life met anyone who actually has their shit together to that extent so don't beat yourself up
your sense of attraction is fine and the notion that it's inherently evil is puritan nonsense except the puritans didn't even believe that you're trying to hold yourself to a puritan standard that's more aesthetic than puritanism.
I feel the volcel bit has done some real damage as while it's inappropriate to be openly horny here and in some situations that doesn't mean we should all be robots.
You can't control what you're desires are you can only control your reactions. Also bear in mind that your own mood can effect how you're reading other people to be feeling. Modern dating is difficult but you are being far too harsh on yourself remember no one is perfect and they aren't expected to be and it's perfectly natural to be attracted to people.
Porn like any other thing people enjoy can be an addiction but in that case it's bad as an addiction not because sex is icky (issues with the commercial porn industry notwithstanding). Also there are explicitly good ways to follow sexual desire that can bring you closer to people you love according to for example Christianity it's literally a divine urge (within certain contexts and with heavy caveats).
Also having sexual thoughts is part of being a normal person (not to say asexuals aren't normal). You're mentality reminds me of people who want to pray away the gay from themselves and it is similarly harmful to you to believe this tripe as it is for them to believe that there is something wrong with the way they are.
Put it this way I'm literally British and I'm telling you that you are too repressed. I've known Catholics who would be concerned with how much guilt you have over your sexuality and it absolutely doesn't make you a bad socialist socialism is concerned with solidarity and common ownership of the means of production not some perverse victorian idea of morality being when you wear cotton trousers all the time and don't think about sex, frankly with the stuff they got up to they have no business lecturing you about morality
There’s nothing wrong with being into content that’s “not real.” Literally everyone has weird thoughts. Weird doesn’t mean bad. I think the issue isn’t that you’re interested in certain things. It’s that you have a self-destructive sense of guilt.
I get the impression that if you were to 100% successfully stop being interested in the stuff currently making you guilty, your brain would just find something else to make you feel guilty about. I don’t think you would be capable of ever living up to your own standards. Because the issue isn’t your interests, it’s the guilt itself.
Not an easy thing to deal with, as I’m sure you know. I’m glad to see in another comment that you have a therapist. Hopefully they’ll be able to help you figure all this out.
Trust me, therapists hear all sorts of wild shit, and your stuff wouldn’t even register as weird to them. I don’t think you’re pathetic, I know it’s hard to open up and be honest about this sort of stuff.
It takes a lot of courage to talk about this stuff with people. I promise your therapist would appreciate you telling them. It’ll make their job easier if they know the full picture of what’s bothering you, y’know? Can’t help someone that much if you don’t know entirely what you’re helping them with
Yeah I am incredibly impressed with their courage for talking about this anywhere even anonymously I've struggled with these issues myself and when I was I would have never talked about it like this because it was too frightening so I'm really impressed with their courage here
I get what you mean I am terrified of talking about sex but you really sound like you struggle with this and they're a medical professional they won't judge you. Think of it like getting a prostate exam sure it's embarrassing but the doctor won't think less of you
Also trust your therapist rather than the largely joking advice on this site that sex is bad
cum
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Ironically the only way to be a better person and do the right thing is to not beat yourself up for doing the bad thing. Learn the lesson and do your best to avoid the situation that led to you doing the behaviour that you regret. If you're struggling romantically just know that you super aren't alone in that
Also everyone else is lazy and dumb I have never in my life met anyone who actually has their shit together to that extent so don't beat yourself up
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your sense of attraction is fine and the notion that it's inherently evil is puritan nonsense except the puritans didn't even believe that you're trying to hold yourself to a puritan standard that's more aesthetic than puritanism.
I feel the volcel bit has done some real damage as while it's inappropriate to be openly horny here and in some situations that doesn't mean we should all be robots.
You can't control what you're desires are you can only control your reactions. Also bear in mind that your own mood can effect how you're reading other people to be feeling. Modern dating is difficult but you are being far too harsh on yourself remember no one is perfect and they aren't expected to be and it's perfectly natural to be attracted to people.
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Porn like any other thing people enjoy can be an addiction but in that case it's bad as an addiction not because sex is icky (issues with the commercial porn industry notwithstanding). Also there are explicitly good ways to follow sexual desire that can bring you closer to people you love according to for example Christianity it's literally a divine urge (within certain contexts and with heavy caveats).
Also having sexual thoughts is part of being a normal person (not to say asexuals aren't normal). You're mentality reminds me of people who want to pray away the gay from themselves and it is similarly harmful to you to believe this tripe as it is for them to believe that there is something wrong with the way they are.
Put it this way I'm literally British and I'm telling you that you are too repressed. I've known Catholics who would be concerned with how much guilt you have over your sexuality and it absolutely doesn't make you a bad socialist socialism is concerned with solidarity and common ownership of the means of production not some perverse victorian idea of morality being when you wear cotton trousers all the time and don't think about sex, frankly with the stuff they got up to they have no business lecturing you about morality
There’s nothing wrong with being into content that’s “not real.” Literally everyone has weird thoughts. Weird doesn’t mean bad. I think the issue isn’t that you’re interested in certain things. It’s that you have a self-destructive sense of guilt.
I get the impression that if you were to 100% successfully stop being interested in the stuff currently making you guilty, your brain would just find something else to make you feel guilty about. I don’t think you would be capable of ever living up to your own standards. Because the issue isn’t your interests, it’s the guilt itself.
Not an easy thing to deal with, as I’m sure you know. I’m glad to see in another comment that you have a therapist. Hopefully they’ll be able to help you figure all this out.
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Trust me, therapists hear all sorts of wild shit, and your stuff wouldn’t even register as weird to them. I don’t think you’re pathetic, I know it’s hard to open up and be honest about this sort of stuff.
It takes a lot of courage to talk about this stuff with people. I promise your therapist would appreciate you telling them. It’ll make their job easier if they know the full picture of what’s bothering you, y’know? Can’t help someone that much if you don’t know entirely what you’re helping them with
Yeah I am incredibly impressed with their courage for talking about this anywhere even anonymously I've struggled with these issues myself and when I was I would have never talked about it like this because it was too frightening so I'm really impressed with their courage here
I get what you mean I am terrified of talking about sex but you really sound like you struggle with this and they're a medical professional they won't judge you. Think of it like getting a prostate exam sure it's embarrassing but the doctor won't think less of you
Also trust your therapist rather than the largely joking advice on this site that sex is bad
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