Welcome to the first Fake News megathread, your biweekly coverage for the latest news exclusive to the imperial core. We want this to be a spot where anyone can come in, shit out a little snippet of an article you think is funny and collaborate with other dorks of equal caliber.

Sensitive documents have leaked online over the Nintendo game Splatoon 2. The highly classified documents which shared details of Israeli losses during their incredibly unpopular war with Hamas appeared as a drawing inside a speech bubble thought up by a player character who has now disappeared.

The speech bubble contained a link to a pastebin with one paragraph of text identified to be a leaked message from a Hamas group chat; “sensitive documents - born to die - world is a f*** - 200 trillion dead IDF soldiers - kill em all 2024 - I am based man.”

The IDF press team told Fakenews reporters “These numbers, although false, give an insight into the Hamas recruitment model. We know they've been using online games as a way to spread their propaganda and this game is no exception. We have asked Nintendo to shut the servers until the conflict in-game doesn't reflect the situation in Gaza.” A Nintendo spokesperson has denied any involvement on working with the IDF and claims “We will not be shutting down the servers and believe this was not a genuine leak.”

When asked if they condemn Hamas, representatives for Nintendo responded “We condemn video game piracy.”

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    9 months ago

    BREAKING: BERNIE SANDERS VOTES YES ON SOULSHREDDER DRONE DELIVERY TO ISRAEL

    National Observer

    Washington, D.C. - Bernie Sanders will vote yes on a Bill delivering Soulshredder drones - named after the iconic antagonist of Marvel's™️ Man Man - to Israel. These weapons are capable of blowing up weddings from up to 2 kilometer distance. Asked by National Observer's DC correspondent Joseph "Joe" Gabbles if he was a communist lover of Babylon's enemies, Sanders assuaged fears that he was actually standing for something and replied: "As people might know from my presidential campaign, I am an adherent of the great american tradition of ruining things by putting america into them. Thus my american socialism is completely national and doesn't not aim to disrupt the flow of plunder into this great country."

    Meanwhile in the house of representatives, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez was seen crying as she voted for the package. Observers described Nancy Pelosi waving her fasces (acquired on the occassion of Italian history month) at the upstart politican.

    The package will also include a bill to turn the homeless into canned food and raise minimum wage for longterm government employees in select districts in 5 states by 1% over the next 12 months. Donald Trump was unavailable for comment, as he was passing out from Ketchup and Hamburgers at the "Triumph of the Will: remastered edition" filmset.