Welcome to the first Fake News megathread, your biweekly coverage for the latest news exclusive to the imperial core. We want this to be a spot where anyone can come in, shit out a little snippet of an article you think is funny and collaborate with other dorks of equal caliber.
Sensitive documents have leaked online over the Nintendo game Splatoon 2. The highly classified documents which shared details of Israeli losses during their incredibly unpopular war with Hamas appeared as a drawing inside a speech bubble thought up by a player character who has now disappeared.
The speech bubble contained a link to a pastebin with one paragraph of text identified to be a leaked message from a Hamas group chat; “sensitive documents - born to die - world is a f*** - 200 trillion dead IDF soldiers - kill em all 2024 - I am based man.”
The IDF press team told Fakenews reporters “These numbers, although false, give an insight into the Hamas recruitment model. We know they've been using online games as a way to spread their propaganda and this game is no exception. We have asked Nintendo to shut the servers until the conflict in-game doesn't reflect the situation in Gaza.” A Nintendo spokesperson has denied any involvement on working with the IDF and claims “We will not be shutting down the servers and believe this was not a genuine leak.”
When asked if they condemn Hamas, representatives for Nintendo responded “We condemn video game piracy.”
Despondent Americans pledge their Allegiance to Hitler
Caucus of american fascists change their slogan to "we must secure the future of the white burger and reliable chunkopop shipping" as Houthi attacks mount. Immediately after the caucus, the loose alliances of retail store owners, discord users and frustrated school shooters sees membership increase by tenfold. Also changes name to "No homo of american fascists" as "Caucus" sounds "too gay". Leading trans token spokesperson Euphemia Van Dringles says "We actually thought you spell it Caucas, like, in Caucasian."
Meanwhile four skinny teenagers with sweaters praising incest and nazi architects in video games made mocking ok signs behind her back and "ironically" performed the Nazi Salute in front of an enormous painting that depicts a french Kiss between Mr. Beast and the head of Adolf Hitler sticking out of a toilet.