I have been a straight guy for as long as I can remember. Ive had multiple relationships, plenty of enjoyable sexual encounters, and obviously seen women as a point of attraction since i was very young.

However, my long term relationship has suffered because I started having these panic attacks about that. I start obsessing over the idea that I may not be straight, as a result of some erectile dysfunction, which of course only makes that panic worse.

Lately, almost exactly after I turned 30, its like that part of my brain just shut off. I can, most of the time, become erect and do the deed (so to speak) but its like a part of my brain is missing. The part that wants it, its so quiet compared to before. I have obsessive doubts about what im feeling, all the time. I dont enjoy anything. I cant masturbate, because when I do find a fleeting grasp of arousal it is met with a wave of depression and anxiety that shuts it down.

Im going to my first therapy session today, but im in a lot of pain and just wanted a place to put it.

Edit: weed was a major trigger and ive since given it up

Edit: would also just like to thank everyone for responding, thank you to the community.