I have been a straight guy for as long as I can remember. Ive had multiple relationships, plenty of enjoyable sexual encounters, and obviously seen women as a point of attraction since i was very young.
However, my long term relationship has suffered because I started having these panic attacks about that. I start obsessing over the idea that I may not be straight, as a result of some erectile dysfunction, which of course only makes that panic worse.
Lately, almost exactly after I turned 30, its like that part of my brain just shut off. I can, most of the time, become erect and do the deed (so to speak) but its like a part of my brain is missing. The part that wants it, its so quiet compared to before. I have obsessive doubts about what im feeling, all the time. I dont enjoy anything. I cant masturbate, because when I do find a fleeting grasp of arousal it is met with a wave of depression and anxiety that shuts it down.
Im going to my first therapy session today, but im in a lot of pain and just wanted a place to put it.
Edit: weed was a major trigger and ive since given it up
Edit: would also just like to thank everyone for responding, thank you to the community.
But then after im taking testosterone, then what, I have to do that for 3 decades? That worries me.
Why, if your body needs it? Not saying it does by the way. Maybe you can try other stuff first, but it’s at least worth getting a second opinion. The fact that this stuff started when you turned 30 is weird, in my view.
For what it’s worth I thought I had low T for many years. Maybe I do. I’ve been tested multiple times and always came in at the low range of normal (400-600) and never got treated for it.
I recently got put on Wellbutrin for depression issues and it’s helped a lot in the libido department. Brains are weird.